A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I'm 20 and i've been with my also 20 year old boyfriend for over 3 and a half years. We're high school sweethearts and have had all our firsts together (from first relationship, first kiss to sexual intimacy). I love him very much but lately we've been going through a cycle where i feel that we're okay then he tries to break up with me but we miss each other too much but get back together. Recently he has also told me that he wants to know what it is like to be with someone else... Just because he's curious and needs something to compare to our relationship to see if is really as special as it feels. I understand but by exploring this I feel like we'll be over.. and i don't want that. But we cant stay the way we are because he's getting more and more depressed. I am so confused, it reaaly feels like there is no solution, help me everyone!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Thanks for all your responses so far. I understand what you mean, and i think and know that it is what i should do.. it's just so hard detaching your life from someone you've been with for so long. Photos, presents, cards they're all around my room... I'm going to have to put them away.
A
male
reader, justanotherguy  +, writes (15 June 2007):
I absolutely agree with the previous poster. You're in for trouble if you just try hold him on a leash for the rest of your life, and never allow yourself to get to know other guys. I guarantee you will regret it later in life. It sounds like your relationship really does need a breather. If you guys are really right for each other, then you'll find your way back together, but you really owe it to yourself to get some distance for a while.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): There IS a solution, you know!
If he wants to date other people - why then, SO DO YOU!
What I mean by that is that even if you don't feel you want to date other men, it really would be a good idea to give it a whirl. After all, you have no one else to compare him to: you have no other experience, either of you, and things are not really going well. If you tell him he can't date other girls, he'll resent it, and it will only get worse.
Try it and see what happens. Possibly you will both find you like one another best after all. An equal possibility, however, is that one or the other of you will discover you like someone else even more. But that's life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): He should be able to tell if what you have is meaningful without dating other people. I could be wrong but it sounds to me like he just wants to keep you and see other people as well.
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