He wants time to himself and I understand. But is it really something more?

A female age 41-50, *sychlove12 writes:

My good friend and I started dating shortly after he ended with his ex-gf whom he was with for a while (6 years; living together). He has been in love with me for about 7 years he says, i know this to be true because 3 years ago he confessed his feelings to me and I had to ignore bc he and i were both in a relationship and i still feel as i felt before timing is everything. Unfortunately, this is part of the story is also about timing. So i moved back into my hometown in July and we began seeing each other platonically obviously a lot more and i could definitly tell his feelings were still there and were growing rapidly for me; as i had even begin to identify that i had feelings intensively romantic for him. He pushed and pushed me to talk to him about how i felt i didn't want to bc of him being w/ his ex and being that she still lives w/ his family etc. He said he hasn't been in love w/ her for years he just didnt know how to get outta it. I also felt bc i was there on the other side maybe it made it easier for him to leave , we got together in November after he ended with his ex and it was definitly an intersting rocky up and down from the start; her stalking him, her pulling pregnancy cards on him, his family not liking me bc of their attachement to her; people judging the situation and getting too involed w/ him and I; but we knew we were in this together and he was head over heals for me as i fell very hard very quick for him. We spoke about getting married having kids all the future stuff bc he said he had waited sooo long for me that he wasnt ever gonna let me go...we did spend a lot of time together and i did fall very hard for him as I know he did too. Things were great up until last week Saturday. He came outta town and state to meet me at a festival i was at all day. We both got very drunk and he got very nasty on that nite outta nowhere and for no reason at all. We didn't end up meeting up on sat bc of miscommunication or whatever it was; i called him the next day 5 times no answer, i went by his apartment and he didnt wanna see me or talk to me he said he wanted to be by himself etc. I didnt hear from him at all until 5 days later and he said He neeeds time to be by himself. I get that whole fact bc i do agree he came outta a long relationship and jumped into one with me? but is it really space or is he going to jump back into it w/ her outta comfort, fear, or bc maybe he thinks things would change. Im hurt bc i dont want to feel as if he made a fool of me bc i didnt want to fall for him, it happened i stuck by him thru all the drama and crap HE brought to the table and now he wants time? I hope it is just time for himself...what do i do to get him back? just give him time?? Ive never been in this position b4 I want him in my life and i wanna know what i should do if i want him back?

View related questions: drunk, his ex, stalking

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (8 March 2008):

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