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female
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*mmi
writes: This may sound odd. My partner and I are getting quite serious. He has asked me to move in with him and he said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. The only thing is, he has 3 children, the third being born only a few hours a ago. The children do not bother. I have the biggest fear that he will go back to his EX. They split up because she decided to join the church. I'm so scared that he will leave me. Its tearing me up inside thinking all these things. He said he is here forever and that I have nothing to worry about. I've being hurt in the past and I'm scared I'm going to get my heart broken. He is so perfect, it all seems too good to be true and I often think to myself, why would someone like him want to be with someone like me.? Please advise me. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2005): All relationships are risky..please don't live in this type of fear that he's going to leave you. Hr has assured you he is NOT going anywhere. Some woman get lost and lose their self-esteem that many will do anything to “take care” of their partners in the hope that they will not leave—or that someday they will reciprocate.
This is not a healthy way to function. In every relationship, it's important to remember that high self-esteem evolves from viewing yourself as a unique, valuable, and worthwhile person, and is not to be dependent on how other people view you. You are your greatest asset and this is what your BF will take note about you.
You need to find your strengths, get your confidence back- to know, no matter what happens, you will be okay..you will carry on with ot without a man in your life.
Take pride in the things you have done and the things that you know and continue to learn in life. Never look at yourself as less than others. Begin to believe in yourself and realize that you deserve and should expect respect When you feel good about yourself, you have high self-esteem you will shine from inside, girl and this tells others how to treat you through your actions and behavior. Improving your self-esteem can give you the confidence, strength, and resiliency to face and overcome many obstacles.
I think you should get some counselling to help you understand that you don't have to live this way. Low self-esteem is debilitating. Good luck I hope I have helped. Be hopeful and keep your dignity. Believe in YOU.
Hugs, Irish
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