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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am really messed up. I have been seeing a guy who is 12 years younger and I have the best connection with him that I have ever had with anyone. But I am 46 and was married for 10 years, but no kids. Its sweet tender supportive and smart with this guy and I think I am falling for him. I did a runner 'cos of the age difference and then we got back together after we did a job together. I am terrified 'cos I have had a couple of really awful break ups. I am financially stable and he really isn't but I don't think he wants to be a kept man. The big thing is he wants kids and I don't think at this point I could have them, don't know for certain, but should I just forget it because it would be selfish of me? I don't want to let this one go but I will if its better for him. I am not a 100% about how he feels, I know he was very upset when I backed off initially but he has encouraged me to be really positive about life again. Should I just see how far it goes or should I prepare myself for the fact it may just end in tears. I don't feel my age and I have a body that a lot of people compliment me on, but I have wrinkles and the inevitable aging signs on my face. I do want something long term I can't wrap my head around all the hookups and friends with benefits kind of relationships that are out there, but I am sick of being by myself. I do have such a good time with this guy. Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Hello dear, well I will say you dont hope to have this man to the end of your relationship, cox he can decide to broke up any time since you can give him the children he wants and if he decide to stay with you without children, he friends can easy say he cant pregnanted woman that he why he does not have kinds which the man cant bear when he hear of it. So my advice for you now is that you get yourself prepare on where you will be when this man ask you to go, and my happiness with you is that you are financially stable that you will not regret it.
Think this will help you.
Best of luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): I feel like you are clinging onto this because it is the best that you have had so far but there is better out there and i think you know it. I know where you are coming from with the time spent on your own but at least you have peace of mind, not trying to please someone else and can basically do anything at all you want. Is that really so bad. He is quite young and lets be fair your are on the edge of child bearing years, if not over the boundary. Do you really want to be coping with a ten year old when you get to 56!!! And will he be around? You may have his child and he could take off for pastures younger, sorry to be so harsh but it is a fact of life. You will be on your own then, with a child or two. Don't hurtle into having kids at your age. I had my third at 40, i love him to pieces but if the clocks were turned back, i wouldn't do it! We all have relationship splits which should make us wiser so don't worry if you two do split up, you will get over it. If you two stay together then i hope it works out for the better. I wish you well.
Take care
xx
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