A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24, my husband's 29. For the past few weeks my husband's been working nightshifts to earn extra money, which I wasn't too pleased about, but when I heard him saying we'd get more money if he did double shifts, I accepted the situation. So for 4 weeks he'd been doing the nightshift, until my friend Suzanne who works as an airport taxi driver said he wasn't doing nightshift work - and the situation was far worse than I thought.She told me that she'd seen him going into discos every night of the week with a good friend of his - apparently he's called "Barry", from what she heard him shouting to his friend - and that what my husband had told me about nightshift work was complete nonsense. She showed me the photos of it she had taken on a digital camera (whilst she was on her way to a pick-up, she said she'd got the photos whilst at the traffic lights!) - she always keeps the digital camera for if there's an emergency.I confronted my husband about this today, and he said it was complete nonsense. I told him about the photos and he said don't be silly, why would anyone take photos of me at work?? He said he wouldn't even go the disco anyway.Now he's refusing to speak to me, and is spending all his time away from home - I tried phoning him on his mobile, but got automated messages saying "the person you have tried to dial is not available".Our relationship was good, but now it looks like our marriage is on rocky ground - how can I save it??Chrissy
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Firstly, if he didnt have anything to hide, then he shouldnt have gotten so defensive!
The fact that he has totally blown things out of proportion tells me that there is a chance there is a little more to this story than he is telling you or otherwise, he is just hurt that you have even thought that. But even still, I wouldnt have thought he would be acting so immaturely!
First of all, if he isnt answering your calls etc, you need to just wait for him to eventually cool off and contact you or come home (I presume he isnt staying at home, or if he is, you dont get to see him)
When he is ready to speak to you, then you need to just sit down and talk about it. You need to tell him that you didnt mean any harm but that you had been the information on good authority. (Get a copy of the digital still from your friend too.) Tell him that the picture is a good likeliness of him and that he can see how easy it would be for anyone to misconstrue that as being him. Let him look at it and give his side of the story.
You too will also know if it is your husband by the clothing the person had worn. You will see if your husband actually has clothing that matches what the person is wearing.
If he has nothing to hide, then he shouldnt be getting his knickers in a twist!
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