A
female
age
30-35,
*ura
writes: I play baseball on a co-head team and I'v started getting close with one of the guys on the team. Needless to say we've had sex a few times now. Wouldn't be so bad if I wouldn't start having feelings for him. Biggest problem here is that i'm 17 and he's 23. He straight up told me that if I was 20 he would go after me, but he's emmbarased about me being so young. Part of me wants to convince him that age doesn't matter cause when i'm with him we'll talk and laugh about anything and everything and i'll go to his place and watch movies with him and hang out and it feels right, but we'll never go out in public together, but I just love the way he makes me feel when we're together. Then there's that part of me that should just call it off with him because, I think if he was worth it for me, he wouldn't let other peoples oppinions bother him... What do you think of my situation? Any suggestions? Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (16 August 2010):
it really is about what this guy thinks. It doesn't matter what we say here on dearcupid, the bottom line is that this guy is uncomfortable with this age gap and I don't think there is much you can do to change that.
I do agree with you that 6 years is not a huge age gap...but I also think it depends on the ages. I'm 22 and I dated a 28 year old, 6 years age gap. However I don't think he would have dated me either if I would have been 17 and him 23, its harder the younger you are to deal with age gaps. Maybe wait a few years and if you still know him, then try again later. Good luck. I do hope he changes his mind tho!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): This is strange. You two have had sex several times but he is using age as an factor to not have relationship? Age is not an issue, if anything he is using age as an excuse to not be in a relationship with you and keep using you for sex. What decent guy would say "Your too young for me for an relationship but lets have sex anyway!" Move on to an proper man.
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A
female
reader, alexis23 +, writes (16 August 2010):
dont waste your time. if he already told you that he thinks you're too young, he's only wants you for one thing. ok well here, one part of my brain says "if he only hangs with her alone, not in public, and has sex with her and then tells her she's too young, he's playing her for her pants. because if he truly believed that you were too young, he probably would've never gone out with you in the first place, and had sex a couple times." and another side of my brain says "then again, he could be realizing that she IS too young for him, 6 years apart, and that he may just want someone around or nearly his age." but that part of he that says he's guilty, is rooting louder than the part that says he's innocent.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 August 2010):
In this situation, age does matter. Don't try to convince him otherwise, he's already told you how he feels about it.
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A
female
reader, Sura +, writes (16 August 2010):
Sura is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to add that I am graduated from highschool, I'm starting university in less then a month. ( I'm a november baby so I'll be turning 18 soon) and where I live the age of consent is 16, so it's there is no law being broken here.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 August 2010):
When you get older, age isn't such a big factor. But the difference between in high school and out of high school is ENORMOUS even if it's only a month. Age really does matter and he'll be really harshly judged for being seen with you. Not to mention the sex is illegal with that big an age difference. He could go to jail.
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