A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have had a boyfriend/fiance for almost 4 years now and we ahve two small children together. He is a very jealous type. we went to counsleing over it but now im about to start school its starting up again. He has been accussing me of cheating cuz i dont want to have sex with him every time he does. Last night he had the nerve to ask if the 2 girls were his. I dont know what to do and I cant put up with this crap any longer. Any Advice?????? Please help.....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): You need to talk to him about why he feels so insecure. Has he ever had any real reason to distrust you or is it something from his past?
The counselling sounded like a good idea. Are you prepared to go back and have some more? Maybe he needs to continue the counselling alone.
A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (17 August 2007):
 oh honey tell him this if he has no trust in you and really thinks your two lil girls are not his than get the test make him pay for it tell him you have not been cheating and also explain why you dont want sex all the tim talk with him and if he gets upset dont look at him or talk to him intill he calms down just say in a low tone when you calm down well talk about this like adults and then help him understand he doesnt have to be jealious all the time and if it doesnt work than you'll have to think long and hard if you had enough or if you can take more
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 Well, if he is the jealous type, then it comes from insecurity. In that sense it would make sense that at some point down the line he would question the paternaty...not because of anything you did, but because that is how some men think.
I suggest that you encourage him to get the DNA test. It costs money, but it that is what it takes to put his mind to rest, then so be it.
When you reject him for sex...is it constantly, or once in a while? Were your libidos always as off as they are now? If not, a changing libido is the sign of a person being unfaithful.
30% of all tested fathers find out they are raising kids that aren't theirs. It is a scary thought.
Tell him to pay for it, and to have it done. It will calm his mind, as his therapy did not seem to help.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Did the counseling help him at all? Maybe he needs to get some more. Maybe the fact that you are about to start school again has his low self-esteem festering. I'm sure his jealousy makes him very uncomfortable and it needs to be addressed for his sake as well as yours and the girls. If he won't go get the therapy, you may need to split up. It just may be the wake up call he needs to get motivated.
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