A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He started masturbating on our first date..How do I justify this to my friends. I am with a wonderful guy, everything is great, the first date we had we were both drunk, kissed for a little bit and then I was too drunk, just wanted to go to sleep. I woke up and he was masturbating and I felt a bit awkward. I dont really mind, but I accidentally told all my friends thinking nothing would come of him and I.Turns out we ran into each other again , hit it off and have been dating for 4 months. But my friends still call him a " creeper" and my best friend wont accept him. How can I justify or explain what he did the first night..is it creepy and not normal. Please help, I cant go on anymore !. Thanks in advance.
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male
reader, wildturkey  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 masturbation is normal and he had respect for your right to say no to sex. he would of been horny as hell proberly should of gone to the bathroom to do it but i bet he didnt think u would wake.. when you get that horny the only way you can sleep is by wanking....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): Sorry Dr Pete but I can't agree at all that there is necessarily anything "creepy" about this man....
He is on a first date with a woman who presumably he is very attracted to... they kiss for a while and he becomes aroused and then.... she falls asleep!
What is wrong with an excited and horny male masturbating in those circumstances?? All credit to him for accepting the situation and taking matters into his own hands, as it were.
He probably didn't expect her to wake up and if she hadn't, she would have been none the wiser.
If I were you, OP, I would tell my friends that you do not wish to hear any more derogatory comments about your boyfriend and that you regret telling them about the incident. If this man is a decent person then one w**k does not make him a creep for goodness sake!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): Maybe it would have been better if he could have refrained from doing this as it is not impossible to liken someone who masturbates next to a practical stranger to someone committing a sexual crime, I mean there are cases of guys who get sexually turned on my inappropriately masturbating in front of women. I don't think this is the same thing, I'm guessing your boyfriend just got too caught up in the moment and didn't think of the consequences!
Your friends are right to be a little wary of this guy, but I think they need to either get over it, or you need to choose whether or not you are going to side with your boyfriend or with your friends on this. Yes, it is a bit creepy and normal, but all people make mistakes. You know this guy best, was this a one-off incident that you can put behind you, or is it a sign that he is a bit creepy. Go with that gut instinct and then tell your friends that you're glad they give you their advice but you'd like them to go along with whatever you decide to do.
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