A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok well im 14 and i really like this boy who's 17, and recently he split up with his girlfriend and i comforted him and he still wants to get back with her, and we always text and chat to eachother, and he has showed signs of likeing me in that way but i dont know how to tell him ...please help!
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (25 April 2007):
 Hello anonymous,
It's really nice of you to comfort him during his break-up, but I think the last thing you need is to be in a relationship with this guy.
-- How would you be sure it wouldn't be a rebound relationship?
-- How would you know if he really wasn't thinking about the other girl? Obviously he still cares about his ex or else he wouldn't still want to be her boyfriend.
-- Do you think it would be fair to *him* to hear that you like him when he still cares about his ex?
-- If he does not like you, are you willing to lose a friendship over this? While you will not look like a fool - contrary to what the poster below wrote (you can't be a fool because you have feelings for someone)- you may not get the reaction you want to have from this guy.
-- If you tell him your feelings, is he going to want to stay around you knowing this if he gets back together with his ex? Personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who liked me more than a friend if I was already in a relationship. I'd find it disrespectful to my boyfriend...but that's just me, and maybe he isn't like this.
I think the best thing to do right now is try to remain a friend to him. If he gets back with his ex, then at least he didn't get with you and break up with you for her. And it shows that you are a good friend to him, which he may think of if they ever break up again.
Also, have you thought about it from a legal standpoint? I'm not sure about the law where you live, but if you two were to engage in any sexual activity, it could land him behind bars. You may want to look into the age difference laws where you live so you don't tempt him with getting in trouble with the law.
Whatever you do, I would hold off on telling him how you feel. To do otherwise, in my opinion, would be very selfish.
Take care.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): Sorry to say this but you are kidding yourself. besides the fact that he is older than you, he obviuosly still likes his gf. You have to move on and find yourself a boyfriend closer to your own age.
I doubt if this boy really thinks of you in that way, please don't make a fool of yourself and chase after him hoping for something that will never be.
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