A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HAY GUYS!Bit of a problemo, found out the other day that my current boyfriend cheated while we were seeing eachother. Apparently to him it's not cheating because we were not 'official' yet, however while we were seeing eachother we said we were commited to on another etc. Problem is though, he cheated with him ex, apparently at the time he still had feelings for her because a few months before that they only broke up. Is it just me, or should he have told me that? Instead of having best of both worlds and convincing me he wanted just me!I'm angry and it's got me wondering does he still have feelings for her? Is he still in contact with her? We've been through stuff since then, weve been official for quite some time now, and i'm inlove with him, but i can't help but feel stupid that i didn't clock on to him cheating at the time! I feel like he's gotten away with it! How do i act with him now? I want him to step up completley now and show that i am the one for him! Advice or opinions would be really appreciated guys, much love! Xxxxxxxxxx
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 This is one of those gray areas of dating. You don't state how long you were "seeing" each other before you became official.
If you guys were sleeping together, even if you weren't official, then yes, he cheated on you. If you guys just went out to dinner a few times, maybe talked on the phone a few times, then what he did was a bit sketchy but technically not cheating -- you guys weren't exclusive to one another.
It sounds like you thought you were exclusive a lot sooner than he did.
So you have a right to be mad, but I don't think you can technically hold it over him as "cheating"
Finally there is no way for us to determine if he still likes her. I think you have to analyze his current actions to see if he is still maintaining contact with her. It's something to be concerned about but don't become overly paranoid about it unless you see reason to be concerned.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Although cheating is wrong if you were only seeing each other and it was only early days then he was probably just confused. However i agree that he should have told you the truth. How long have you both been in a relationship for now? I guess that it is your choice now whether you are able to let it go and concentrate on building a future together.
If you totally trust him now and decide that you can forgive him then stay with him but talk to him and tell him your fears that he is still in love with his ex hopefully he will be able to reassure you and the both of you can forget the past and look to the future.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 January 2011):
Although cheating is wrong if you were only seeing each other and it was only early days then he was probably just confused. However i agree that he should have told you the truth. How long have you both been in a relationship for now? I guess that it is your choice now whether you are able to let it go and concentrate on building a future together.
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