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female
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*am3k0
writes: Nine months ago i met a guy online and since then we have talked on msn daily, sometimes for hours on end. We have alot in common, we don't get in fights, and we understand each other. A little over a month ago i emailed him my true feelings, that i liked him but i thought it was crazy because of the whole online thing. I was so scared. He emailed me back that he felt the same way. Since then, we have gotten to know each other on a totally different level. We still talk all the time, especially on the phone. There is one problem though. He is enlisted in the army and will be going to basic this summer, while I am at college. We live states apart. We decided on an agreement, where we will both meet sometime in the future, along with other things. Since our feelings are so in the open now, it is nice. He seems very driven to meet this summer, so he can decide what to do after he gets out of basic training. Its alot of pressure. I guess I am scared and nervos to meet him. We have both seen pictures of each other but i dont know...i really want to meet him too but i feel like it will be a bit awkward or different when we meet, and i am afraid it is going to go bad and we won't want to talk anymore. so many questions, any advice on any of this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Maybe he could travel to where you live? If he does, book a hotel for him - or better still, give him a list of hotels to pick one where he can stay.
Having him stay with you at your home for a first time meeting is not a good idea! And, you should still meet in public, and not go back to his hotel with him! Time enough for that at your next meeting. After all, you may have spoken on the phone and emailed numerous times, but you still really are strangers and you need to think of your own safety first. Not trying to alarm you, just telling you to use common sense.
Besides which, if it DOES turn out to be an awkward first meeting, or you find you are very different interacting in person, all the more advantage to not having too much proximity for a first get-together!
If all goes well, still take it slow, and look forward to another meeting in the future! Meantime, don't pressure yourself, and don't allow him to pressure you, either!
Good luck.
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