A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am confused, i don't know wether i want to be in a relationship or not. Its a long story... I was with a guy for 7 years and he left me for someone else.. broke my heart. Then 6 weeks later i got with a guy i thought was perfect he was crazy outgoing, amazing in bed, funny and promised me everything i had always dreamt of and treated me like a princess. Anyhow he turned out to be a narcissist and sent me into an anxious depression. We broke up 5 months ago and had a couple of booty calls but i thought i was totally over him. during this time i started getting close to one of my friends. However he then ended up in hospital for 6 weeks had major surgery so things were put on hold. We got together 4 weeks ago, two weeks after he came out of hospital and it started off great. He treats me so well, really wants to look after me, the sex is great and i really care about him. But i also feel quite scared. Its pretty full on, his parents love me, he is in the same group of friends as me and they are all very protective over him and won't discuss our relationship. And he seems so into me, but i don't have that spark for him. Although we care about each other, we don't have loads to talk about and he isn't anywhere near as fun as my ex... i would love it to work out, but don't feel an urge to be around him, like i think i should and i know that my friends will fall out with me if we break up... i feel that theres a lot of pressure on me.. and as he has nothing to do in the day he wants to see me lots, and i'm not into that...So my question... can love grow from friendship or do you need that spark... do you really need the million word conversation?? is a relationship with a narcissist fake? or is the intensity of it real?? i just don't know wether to break the relationship up now or see what happens??
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female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (10 August 2008):
 you shouldnt stay in a relationship if your not happy
if all your friends fall outwith you they are clearly not your real friends they should understand how you and him fell
if there is no love or feeling there this wont work you need to feel something to be with someone not just friendship it is much better ina relatioship if you cant talk thats the base of a relationship communaction
he may care but if you have no feelings you should let him down now because he will be more hurt in the future think of your feelings its your life
good luck xxx
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