A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who is 32 and I'm 22.The problem is with my insecurities and jealousy. We both go to school but go to seperate universities and the temptation of other girls/ guys is everywhere. I don't feel the temptation but i can't help but feel sometimes that he does. Recently we got into a discussion in which he confirmed this. He said that honestly all men no matter how happy or in love they are bound to get stupid thoughts in their head about other women. He says that he's gets tempted more than most men because of his beliefs(he's very religious and says that because he strays from evil, he's tempted more to do things he shouldn't). My fiance insists that it's got nothing to do with me and that he would never cheat, it's just thoughts that he gets sometimes..I want to understand and let it go but I'm afraid that this discussion has made me even more insecure than I was. To add to this he recently made friends with a model that goes to his school because he wants her to set me up in modeling. I know his intentions are good but I can't help but feel jealous(she's really pretty). What should I do to get over all of this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (10 April 2007):
 As long as he's faithful, let him look. Guys do. I was devoted to my wife for more than 20 years, right up until the day she died, and would never have touched another woman. But that still didn't stop me thinking about it when I saw some cute girl go by ... hmmm ... I wonder what she'd be like if we were together and I just did THAT and she did THIS and ... well, you get the picture.
I don't quite know how to factor his religion into that equation. My own (rather unorthodox) religious beliefs would not have stood in the way of my being with another woman. It was my word to my wife and my love for her that kept me faithful to her.
Only you can decide whether you can trust your guy. My advice is, unless he gives you some evidence that he is not true to you, take him at his word and give your relationship a chance. Because you can't make it work if you are consumed by jealousy and doubt.
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