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female
age
30-35,
*ePyromaniacArtist
writes: Dear Cupid, Im in love with my best friend. He says he is gay but I think he is bisexual. He is always around me, calls me all the time, texts me everyday and when I hang out with him.. he plays with my hair and kind of flirts. He also was trying to cheer me up and this is what he said "Be happy!! Don't be sad... We all love you!! well not like that because its kinda creepy..because you know me..i cant love you like that....." He said that like he didn't really mean it.I don't know what to do and even if he doesn't like me how do I stop loving him more than a friend?Please help me!Sincerly, Le Pryomaniac Artist
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): I am almost 16.
Which means im 15 right now...
Thank you all for your advice.
I realized that i dont really like him more than a friend.
But I think he does like me because i just hung up with him after talking to him for 6 in a half hours.
So thanks again for all your help.
Sincerly,
Le Pryomaniac Artist
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006):
You are between 13-15? Move on, move on, move on.
Your attempted conversion is just an excuse to avoid being with other people
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): If you think about it, do you ever treat your girl-friends like this? Don't you ever play with their hair as a joke or say you love them as a friend? Don't you text them and hang out with them a lot? I think that perhanps you were doing a bit of wishful thinking when you thought that he said it like he didn't really mean it.
My advice - you need to make yourself 100% sure that he is not interested in you as more than a friend, otherwise, why would he tell you that he wasn't? Evern if he is bi, he doesn't sound interested in you romantically. Meet other guys, and maybe go out with one of them. If he likes you romantically, he'll see what he's missing and then you'll know.
Otherwise... you need to just move on.
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A
female
reader, Granny +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hallo dear, you poor thing. I've known gay guys like this. In his own way, he probably "loves" you but that's meant in the way of being friends. More than likely, being gay, he sees himself as your "girlfriend" but not in any romantic or sexual way. Perhaps he trusts you so much that he feels he can let his female side out. Please be aware that he may not yet know how to deal with his own sexuality and does not know that he is giving out wrong signals. Try to let him know kindly and patiently what is appropriate and what is not. He may be going through his own private hell, but this does not help your feelings right now.
Accept him for what he says he is. Love him for what he is. It hurts, but patience and understanding are necessary in any relationship. You have to make a choice that he is homosexual, or if bisexual, that he might someday want a boyfriend. My advice to you is to let go of your fear, keep him as a dear friend. If he is bi and you are the constant friend, he might chose you for his partner one day. Then again, he might not. Either way, you will not have lost your best friend which you will appreciate best in 20 years time when you are both older and wiser.
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hunny, he's gay he probably doesn't see you that way, when he's around you he acts like one of the girls by the sound of it, he's just tring to be a good friend. You might just be attracted to the way he treats you. One of the ways to try and get this out of your mind is to think that is telling him the way i feel worth losing our friendship? if you really feel like you like him alot then ask him he if he is bi, and if he says he is then ask him how he might feel if you guys got together. if he seemed grossed out then tell him stright out that you like him as more then a friend and that even though you feel that way losing him as a friend would hurt you more then anything. you just have to get your mind around it that if he's gay then it's not going to work, and you have to get over it the same way you would anyother crush. But don't let him know that anything has changed between you and him or things could get really bad.
Hope that helps
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