A
female
age
30-35,
*ngefreakaleek
writes:Hello. I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a month and 16 days. He is 21, and I am 19. So, we met over the summer because we both were in a world class marching band. We spent 3 months on tour with band together, and we got to know each other, and then the last two weeks we finally got together(not really dating, since you can't go anywhere when you're on tour). I know he really cares for me though, because when we were saying good bye to each other, he actually started crying in front of me, it was so touching. So ever since we got home, we called each other almost everyday, and chatted for ~30mins.-1 hour on the phone. However, when school started, phone calls became few and far in between(last week). I know he's really busy, because he told me even before I was his girlfriend that he's a percussion music major, and he practices until 2am every weekday. However, we didn't talk for one week, and then I got upset,and then he texted me apologizing after I said something on facebook. He explained that he really was busy with work, and school, and I said I would give him space. I trust him completely, by the way, it's just in my nature to be a trusting person, and I don't doubt for one minute that he would never cheat on me. Anyways, so 4-5 days pass and I still haven't heard from him, so I decide to call him on a Friday(the 10th) and the very first thing he says is that he's so sorry he hasn't been calling/texting me, and that he'll be better about making time for me. So we chatted for about 20-30 mins. because he was going out to a bar soon with friends. Oh, I should mention that he usually does go out to bars frequently on weekends, but I don't believe he's an alcoholic. Anyways, having said all that,before we hung up, he said he'd call me 'Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday-ish' and he never did. So i'm feeling a little upset about this whole situation. I've been doing some research, and a common response seems to be that I shouldn't call him anymore, and to let him call me. But I do let him call me, should I answer the first time? Or should I wait a few days to call him back? Also, there is a two-hour time difference; he lives in Illinois, so they're 2 hours ahead of where I live in California.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): just dont give him any attention now, let him do the work onw, the balls in his court. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): Don't answer the first call. Let him see what it feels like to be neglected. I bet he won't like it. Don't call him back either. He'll keep trying until he gets a hold of you....if he really cares.
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