A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 20 year old girl who has been in a relationship with a guy for about 3 years! He is 21. We had troubles in our relationship and we broke up (at the time he was living with me for about a year). He moved out and he became very nasty to me! My heart was broken! We were apart for about 3 weeks then we got back together! Things changed and they weren't the same! I always felt like crying while I was with him but at the same time I loved him! I stopped going out with him because he wouldn't want me to go with! He went to friends 21st and he would never take me with. I would always fight with him about it and then he would say you don't want me to breath but all that I wanted was to go with sometomes, not all the time. I felt worthless. After about 5 months he left me again! But we were still seeing each other and we were having sex! He then went on holiday over december holiday! He hooked up with acouple of girls and said that he can't remember how many girls he hooked up with because he was so drunk!(We weren't dating but we were still seeing each other) after he came back from the holiday we still saw each other. A couple of months later we started dating again, but he would only take me to his friends houses and very seldom take me out with him! And it seemed that when I was out with him he never had fun and when he was out without me he had the time of his life! Only after we have been dating for about 7 months strong and he lives with me again, he told me that one night he went with his friend to a srtip club and him and his friends had sex with 2 girls! He never told me about it back then and I found out that he hooked up with one of my friends! We weren't dating but we were seeing each other and we still had feelings for each other and he hooked up with 6 and more girls! I feel so dead I don't know what to do! Does he love me? Does he care? He said he wasn't thinking about me when he did those things, but I couldn't get him out of my head! I'm confused... Pks help...
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 You're emotionally attached to a guy who isn't really interested in being faithful to any one person. He's certainly sowing his oats, from what you've written. You have two choices. One is that you continue to see him and have your heart stomped on again and again. The other is that you let him go and allow your self-esteem and sense of independence to bounce back and hopefully flourish without the constant ego-battering you are taking. You've been involved with this guy since you were 17, you haven't really had a chance to see what a healthy and mutually respectful relationship actually looks like.
For whatever reason, you've handed over your heart to a guy who isn't particularly interested in cherishing or appreciating it as much as he is interested in fresh new sexual conquests. You're safe and allow him to do this stuff, you've taken him back again and again, so he knows he can trust you to forgive him.
Me, personally, I would break up with him, no need for discussion, and then I would grieve the end of the relationship, the loss of something that was important but now is unhealthy for me. I would gather my friends and family around me to support me and help me and distract me and take care of me while I got my independence back and got some distance and perspective on the situation.
He's a hound, he's really not worth your tears, sorry but he is not. I know you think you love him, but I say to you that you simply don't have the experience to know what real mutual love is yet. What you have isn't it, I'm sorry.
Please save yourself before he completely flattens you.
Take good care, and be sure to have an STD check. You don't need his sexual escapades cause future health and fertility problems for you.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 He is treating you like a doormat. You are there for him when he is at a loose end, or somewhere for him to just lay low. Normal loving couples who respect each other do not have to live like this. He will eventually strip you of all your self esteem and you will have no self worth left. You know deep down that it is not right and now you need to find your strength and leave this relationship. He should have taken you out, clubbing or whatever, he should have taken you on holiday with him. Guaranteed his mates know how he is treating you and they could be laughing at you behind y our back. You need to get him out of your head and out of y our life. Not all men are like this, there are a lot out there who will cherish y ou. Then y ou will see the difference.
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