A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Guys, can you help me out here.......He broke up with me - suddenly - after 3 years, hasn't given a reason (I'm sure he's seeing someone else) but he says he still loves me, and thinks I'm amazing, but he just can't be with me.Translation please!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 His probable reason for the breakup could possibly be your new
job where it takes alot of your time and being unavailable to him.
Or he could have felt intimidated by your new career.
This is just my speculations only.
It may not be the real reasons.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Your in shock and that's the key!
He's behaved very badly towards you and that's not fair. Now your mind is busy turning over and over, trying to find solutions and answers, which he's failed to provide. Sorry he's treated you like this. We don't know what's in his mind, neither do you and if he fails to provide answers then we'll never know. You'll continue pondering this until your mind gives up with exhaustion and finds something more intresting to do. Sorry he's left you in this position. He's behaviour is not very nice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all - My original post is in the Troubled Relationships section under "Am I making him feel inadequate or is it something else?"
I recently landed my dream job and now work my ass off even more than before, which is a lot. We seem to have drifted apart, and he's hanging out all the time with a girl he met at a place where people who are into his profession & the same vibes as him go for weekends and stuff. (Cryptic I know but I cant be obvious)I am now working with people who are into the same things as I am on a profesional level. (but not socialising with, just work)
After 3 years (we love each other immensely) he stopped phoning me!! He wouldn't answer my calls and after 1 week I hid my number to get him to answer. He says he cant explain, but its over, everythings different etc etc. I'm still in shock - I asked why he hated me so much, that when he says he doesn't hate me, he stil loves me to bits and thnks I'm amazing (which I am) but he cant be with me.
I know for a fact he's been staying over at his new "friend"'s place, and it's this girl. His mum assures me there's nothing going on between them but I think I've been well screwed over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): I'm sorry your in this situation. Especially after such a after you have put so much time and committment into this relationship. You want answers, you want to know why, only he can give these answers and he is unwilling or unable to tell you why.
Accept this. Your relationship is over for some unknown reason. He loves you and still cares, but no longer wants to be with you. You have done nothing wrong, he has the problem not you. Feel safe in the knowledge that it's his fault the relationship is ending and heal yourself for somebody new.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): I'm sorry your in this situation. Especially after such a after you have put so much time and committment into this relationship. You want answers, you want to know why, only he can give these answers and he is unwilling or unable to tell you why.
Accept this. Your relationship is over for some unknown reason. He loves you and still cares, but no longer wants to be with you. You have done nothing wrong, he has the problem not you. Feel safe in the knowledge that it's his fault the relationship is ending and heal yourself for somebody new.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 May 2008):
It could mean that you are too good for him or that he is not good enough for you or vice versa.
It is a sugar coated excuse to break up with you .
Saying something nice to cushion the effects or soften the blows.
He is just trying to be nice and gentle.
Due to reasons best known to him i.e. found another g/f ,incompatibility or whatever his reasons or excuses etc.
I am sorry and I hope you will be able to ride out this Tsunami .
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (22 May 2008):
 Im sorry to hear this but with out asking him what he means there is no way to know, just ask him or just leave it alone and find someone better.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 Sorry mate, it's hard to really tell given you havent given us much information.
It really could be anything. Look at the things you have discussed lately maybe there is a clue there.
Have you perhaps discussed the prospect of having children?
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A
female
reader, kittikat  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 It could mean a million different things...I'd like to think that he's gay, that works. Then that way it has nothing to do with you :-) Or, maybe a secret agent, or international spy who's going on a huge mission, looking for WMD's and it would put your life in danger if "they" knew you were his love...Oh, sorry that's how I translate stupid excuses from men. Makes me feel better :-) Just kidding, I guess it's hard to give a good answer without more details. Lieren is right, 3 years is a damn long time- kind of shitty to just say "i can't be with you". He should man up and give some more explanation, but some people just aren't comfortable expressing themselves. He may be very confused too, unhappy but in love and not sure how to fix it. It's still not a very responsible way to end an adult long term relationship, maybe acceptable after 2 weeks of dating or something, but not 3 years. If he won't give you more than that, let it be. Try to let it go, I know it's easier said than done, but what else can you do? Beat it out of him? Harrass it out of him? Make yourself crazy trying to figure it out? These are all exhausting wastes of energy, although I would probably become a stalker or something- camp out on his doorstep demanding answers, but I'm a psycho sometimes :-) Any more details that you can give??? That would definately give you better advice from people.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (22 May 2008):
 Im sorry to hear that!
3 years its a long time. And if you two were in a loving realationship / friendship, than he must think you are amazing and also he must love you.
You probably should talk to him about why did he leave you, even tho he "loves you".
Maybe he did find someone else ... but it doesnt have to mean,that he doesnt love you or thinks you are amazing. You guys have a history together. And if you can still be friends after all that happened, than God bless you ...
You need to write lil more about the whole situation so we can help
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