A
female
age
51-59,
*insag
writes:We've been married 21 years minus 4 year of separation. It was a terrible break. He got the teenagers to side with him and threw me out! Then our first born and only daughter died and I was shattered. I was so unstable that I needed someone and I just went to him as I don't have true friends or family at all. He wanted me to move back in but I'm not sure. I still feel the hurt and I thought working on forgiveness might help but there is still unfulfilment inside of me. I know he doesn't like confrontation so we could never talk and it's hard to talk when he's so defensive and self righteous. I still couldn't trust him although I don't know if its him or my childhood issue. I don't feel I'm his priority. I don't feel he respect and cherish me. He almost never say sorry unless I asked. Basically he won't be the first to initiate intimacy unless he's really randy! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura Joanne  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 The first thing I want to say to you is, have you been to seek professional help? I mean this because so much has happened in your life, like losing your child and your childhood a lot of that pent up sadness and greaving could really be the main thing in your life that is holding you back. This person does not sound like a good person to have in your life at the moment, if you can't sit down and talk about things without him getting angry and big headed then really what is the point. The person you have to think about in all of this is yourself and if you are not happy in yourself then you are never going to be happy with anybody. I really feel that you should be talking to someone and getting help with your problems, if you like you can message me and I can send you a few links and numbers to help you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): There are all types of abuse: physical, mental, and emotional. And while this story hints at mental and emotional, I somehow wish I had the whole story. There are nice people out there, you just need to know where to look and how to socialize. Why is it that you don't have any friends? I didn't for a long time because I came out of a cult and was very scared of everyone when I left. It SEEMS like this man is not a great guy, but still, there's not a lot of information. You should ask yourself this question:What kind of life do I want? What kind of people do I want in your life? And most importantly, what exactly can I control. Show your children love, but don't hurt yourself because you may have made a bad decision to be with this man. Take everything one day at a time. What else has he said or done to you? Why don't you have any family? Why did he "turn" all the teenagers against you? I want to help more.
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