A
female
age
36-40,
*thleticstyle
writes:well my story of how me and my mm got together started out at work. Began innocent talking and sharing our life experiences/feelings. It felt great for the both of us as we hadn't had that in such a long time. It progressed into staying late together and meeting after work. Couple months later he git transferred to a different store. He tried to get me transferred with him but couldn't so i would go there very often to help out. Well the big misses git suspicious and stories were being rumored of our affair. So i was banned from that store and basically ever working w him. So seeing each other got more difficult. Stress presented itself and we tried to just cut off until he divorced. That lasted maybe 2 days. We couldn't stand being away. He would have me listen to songs and it was so cute. He finally told me he was in deep and falling for me. we had some rough days and had arguments as i felt he wasn't making any moves but reassured me he was. Just having a hard time looking at his life and wishing it were different walking away and losing everything he has built on. Which i could understand so i apologized. We took a couple days off from seeing another. He started doing renovations to the house and it became extremely hard to see him but he tried when he could. His wife was like a hawk always calling and asking where he was she called work and they said he left a while ago blah blah. . He would tell her one thing and shed always check up on him. Running phone records and such. She had her suspicions of me as to what he said. Well she found out he was cheating and he told me she knows everything about us. So he freaked out and told me we can't talk or text and for me to not do either. Go our separate ways and when he gets everything calmed down and figured out he'll get in contact w me. If its truly meant we will find a way back to each other. So the following week was very very hard i would try to call and calm him down and try to reason w him. No matter how hard i tried he wouldn't budge. So i stopped talking to him and about 3 weeks later i called to see how he was. Told him i missed him and if he would comen back to me. And he says he misses me And everything else. Saying i know its hard to walk away its not easy for him he misses me And thinks of me And if she never found out he would still be coming around but since she found out its on to plan b. So fine left him alone and called about a week later says he wishes he could see me or talk more but he can't. Same conversations all over. I told him if he ally did have all those feelings and miss me still he would call me find a way to see me. He says he knows but isn't a good idea right now. So i asked what he was doing Sat and he said he was going over their friends house w her....so im just confused why he wouldn't still make contact- call or see me still? In the beginning he did say his plan was leaving when his son was 18 which is one more year. Is he staying until then? Will he come back for me? I do know he cheated about 10 years ago and they got divorced he lost everything. They got re married some say for the kid some say bc he hated losing everything and having nothing. When i ask him to see me He asks why i would think that's a good idea? He needs to figure out his shit without a distraction (me) and that would make it harder. Is there something can do or say to change his mind? Maybe he Is he seeing someone new? He tells me its not a good idea to see eachotger bc it just created a worse situation. He needs to figure out what he needs/wants to do and thinks by me being around wouldn't be helping i guess. He tells ne he misses me and has feelings and wish things were different and if he could just up and give somewhere else and take me it would make things easier. So i know he has feelings but why not see me or call me? Why not just leave?
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (2 December 2012):
 Firstly, and I know this isn't what you want to hear, but he never had any intentions of leaving his wife. If he had, he would have done so when she found out he was cheating, AGAIN. Now that's not to say that she might end up kicking him out - But it sounds to me like he is trying to distance himself from you in order to keep his marriage. He doesn't want to lose everything again - and being with you was fine as long as he could keep it from his wife, but that isn't how it ended up working out.
Secondly, he is a serial cheater. Why on earth would you even want a man who isn't capable of being faithful? He has cheated on his wife, not once, but twice.....that you know of, anyway. He would end up doing the exact same thing to you. is that really the type of man you want to be with?
You need to move on, and find a man who doesn't belong to someone else.
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