A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 34 yr divorced woman. I have been working with wonderful people and love my job. At work I met a good looking man with a troubled past and is now trying to get his life together. He is very quite and sometimes kinda speaks his mind. He is single, no kids, lives with a roommate, and very cute. I have noticed him stare at me at times and I thought he may be interested in me. Well, I have got the nerve to talk to him every once in a while. I thought since I'm single and he is single that maybe we can start up a friends with benefits situation. So I had the balls to ask him if he wanted to. He said yeah why not so I gave him my number and he said he would give me a call when he got back from vaca. Well, when he got back I got him alone at work and tried to cuddle up with him and he stepped back from me saying he had to work. Naturally that hurt my feelings and was very embarrassed. Later that day I apologized to him and assured him that won't happened again. He said he was good and wasn't bothered by it. He still stares and I am avoiding him at all cost. Now my question is, was he interested or was he just playing with me? I Dont understand him at all. One minute he staring at me and wants to talk and the next minute he wants nothing to do with me.Should I keep avoiding him or just act like nothing happened?? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 May 2013):
 "Friends with benefits" means different things to different people.....
To men, it means that, whenever he gets a stiffy and needs a warm, soft place to put it, he has a gal who will respond to his call, invite him over and put out for him..... There are ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER REQUIREMENTS OR EXPECTATIONS PLACED UPON HIM by the "FWB", as defined by a man....
To women, it means that she can use the casualness of the "FWB" arrangement to get close (VERY CLOSE!) to a guy she fancies... AND (in her eyes) he will covet and look forward to those trysts....
Unfortunately, the former is what your friend is using for HIS definition of the "FWB" that you proposed.... and you are using the latter definition of the "FWB" that you believe that you proposed...
How many times have we seen, on this site, a substantial mismatch of the expectations of the man and woman who are proposing or partaking of a "FWB" arrangement?
Good luck....
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