A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for 3yrs+ this year he suggested goin away and i agreed that it would be a good idea i started researching good deals etc. when i approached him bout deals id found he sed that he was interested and will let me no. a few weeks later i asked again and he sed he couldn't afford to be off work so i found out how much it wud cost jus for the weekend fri-mon n he stil sed he couldn't afford time off yet he gets paid a days wage when he has a holiday i don't n i work all weekend so in fact its me losing out on money not him. i let it drop and now all of a sudden he says hes goin away for 2 weeks in september with him family. i understand wantin to go away with his family thats not wots bothered me its jus he couldn't afford 2 days off work with me, how can he suddenly afford 2 weeks off? ive asked him n he jus says he felt like he needs a holiday so i asked why he didn't wanna go wit me n he avoids the answer. i dont want to get in an argument its jus makin me think im not fun enuf to be around i jus dunno wot 2 do
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (9 April 2007):
 I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other almost 9 years and we have been away once, and that was 8 years ago.
His excuse isnt that he cant afford it, because he can. He seems to get so worked up that if we go away for a weekend, I will expect a lot. When he says "I expect a lot", he means that I will expect loads of sex, candle lit dinners etc. He gets worked up that he wouldnt get it right and the weekend would be a mess, so he prefers to stay home and do them instead.
Perhaps you should say that you have been looking at weekends away in such-n-such a place. They have loads to do, like ................... If he has the same "reasoning" then if he thought that it wasnt going to be expensive and that your time would be occupied he wouldnt get worked up over it and make excuses.
My boyfriend and I recently went away for the first time in 8 years for a weekend. It was AMAZING! It was a no expectations weekend, and we got to spend some amazing time together.
He may just be nevous about the whole disappointing you thing! There is no harm in asking him!
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