A
female
age
30-35,
*abyJade
writes:hey ive recently just changed part-time jobs to Matalan and there is a 19 year old lad that i really like there. I told him about 2 weeks ago that i really liked him, but i found out that he had a girlfriend so i left it until he asked for my advice! He then said for the 2 out of the 8 months him and his girlfriend had been together he had been considering ending it. She had recently moved to Sweden so i made him face reality that it wasnt going to work out. i didn't force him. i just gave him my opinion. Once he had ended it with her he told me that i was gorgeous and that he really liked me a lot. we even kissed everytime we saw each other but now we just hug. He says that when he moves on he definitely wants to be with me because i would be that "special someone" he would want to be with! This made me really happy and i know he has to get over his ex and ive helped as much as possible. but what am i supposed to do to help him? and ive said ill wait as long as it takes for him to be ready to be with me. but i just like him so much and would be so lucky to have him as my boyfriend. so how do i make that happen without rushing him or pushing him into it until i know he's ready???write back thanksmiss lonely and confused
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): Hun, there is absolutely no way you can make this happen, nor can you rush this. I suggest, you be a supportive friend but don't date him until he is completely over her. He's suffering through that ex gf 'baggage' syndrome and you get get the brunt of it, is she decides to 'walk back' in his life. This happens far too often. In order to get her out of head...he has to get there all on his own and he will let you know when he's ready. Now, you have to decide if the wait is worth it. To me, it sounds like you do feel he is a very worth person. I think that you found somebody you truly want to be with,then sometimes there are things in life that worth fighting for. But as for pushing him, you don't want to do that. That will only make you appear, that all you are thinking about is your own agenda. So no rushing him. I do know that he will 'heal and recover', no matter what. The question is , how long will this take and are you willing to wait around? I recommend you be a caring, positive, close friend to him at this point. Be supportive and build a solid, meaningful friendship based on respect and trust with him, first. And in time, he'll take note of all those great, endearing things about you. Good luck, dear
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