A
female
age
41-50,
*uno
writes:Pls advice. I've been with my fiance who propossed to marry me on the 4th year of our relationship (we now on the 6th year). We decided to abstain from sex 'till we get married because of our religion. We love each other but not earning much, however i know we can afford a simple and beautiful wedding. When i come up with suggestions or involving him into planning the wedding he's always negative, what confuses me is that he always tell me how he want to be with me, make love to me as his wife but when i suggest a court wedding to keep things formal while we saving 4 a big one, he refused and said he knows we'll be getting married in two months, two months has passed, nothing happened! This is the 4th time he make such promise. I would stress going up and down making quotations of wedding gowns venues etc, but nothing happens. He moved to another church and he spends more time doing church duties and less time with me even during the week. We only see each other at restaurants or public places. He has become very close to his Pastor, coz he gave him a position of being his right hand man in church, he calls him and text hm everyday. I want 2 be with him, i told him so. I feel like im his option not his priority as he always says. im lonely and i feel like we've been waiting 4 much too long 4 this wedding. My fiance has changed, i tried 2 talk 2 him about how i feel, im so hurt that he always quote his Pastor's opinion even during our personal conversation. We're no longer a happy and fun couple we used 2 be. Pls help
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female
reader, Puno +, writes (27 January 2020):
Puno is verified as being by the original poster of the question Feedback: I finally got married to him in July 2010. That was a stupid decision I ever made. This is the 10th year of lonely marriage, no fun,drowning in debts because of him, failing to commit on simple things, no communication on important decisions and he spent his time on laptop or phone with earphones on, etc. I tried every way imaginable to make it work but this is it. I quit. We have 2 beautiful kids aged 6 and 8. I hope one day they'll understand why we leave separately from their father.
Thank you for your advice. You were right.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 Hi Puno,
You need to make a wise deciison because you have already given him 6 years of your life and you are still hanging in mid air.
If you were meant to be together , you would have being married and have a few kids by now.
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A
female
reader, Puno +, writes (8 March 2010):
Puno is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Laura
This is gonna be a hardest decision im gonna have 2 make, but im not gonna put my life on hold because of him.
Thanx 4 your answer, i appreciate the time you took reading and replying.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (8 March 2010):
You have given him so many chances and each time you have been disappointed. You will have to decide enough is enough .
If he has commitment problems , he will also have commitment problems a few years down the road. How many more years will you wait ?
You cannot just keep on waiting . You need to decide if he is worth the wait .
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A
female
reader, Puno +, writes (8 March 2010):
Puno is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Jennie
Thank u very much 4 your answer, infact u may be right coz that thought has been in my mind but i made excuses 4 him. Im sorry about your experience too, i know how it hurts.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 He could be gay. I am not saying this just because it's an obvious. I had an experience with a gay man who is catholic who wanted to get married due to family pressure to hide his sexuality. I am sorry if I am wrong. But be happy that you won't get married to him anyway. Part of the reasons of him postponing might be worrying about his performance. The gay man told me he would rather have sex with a 300 pound man over a 100 pound, sexy woman. What an excuse to postpone sex in the name of religion.
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