A
female
age
36-40,
*0tracie0o
writes:So... I'm almost 8 months pregnant. I was just engaged on mothers day and my relationship was a fairy tale.. i never imagined things could be so good but i also knew it was too good to be true. 2 days ago i caught my fiance signing up for dating sites.. 2 and then the new "cheat on ur spouse" site. the first day i only caught the one site. his excuse was oh it was his friend dating this girl n he said she'd never talk to my man n bla bla bla.. he was apologetic n didn't want to lose me and he knew he was stupid so i forgave him. the next day i found the two other sites *which he hadn't logged back into* he didn't want to admit it but when i showed i had proof he admitted he needs help. ive caught him 2 other times and i always catch him before he actually gets to cheat. we are having a little girl.. i dont wnat her growing up thinking this is ok.. since ive been pregnant i thought he had change... it seemed so perfect and he had completely gained more trust from me than i even knew i had to give. what do i do... he agrees and has an appointment monday with a sexual addiction therapist.. should i even be wasting my time? he completes me.. What do i do.. please help..
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2010):
 Okay, well, it's good that the guy is seeing a therapist, and I understand the dilemma you're in because of your pregnancy. However, you should never let your heart be such that it takes another person to "complete" you. If you approach any relationship that way, he'll walk all over you, and lie his way into getting whatever he wants.
Don't trust this guy. If you want to give his therapy a chance, one thing you might want to do is sign up under a fake account on the same site as he's on, and see if he hits on you. That way, there's no opportunity to lie to you.
If he doesn't change his ways, leave him. It's better for your daughter to see a confident and happy mother who doesn't allow a man to use and lie to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): Give him an ultimatum, say if I find one more, or EVEN get any hints that your on dating sites, I'm taking our child and leaving to find a mature man who is fit to be a father
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 You don't deserve this, not at all. You've done everything right and are getting badly repaid for it. I respect the fact that you've thought of your daughter in all this...my father, though I adored him cheated on my mother constantly and this had a very negative effect on me, but so did their divorce...Anyway, give him this chance, see if therapy will make a difference or if this "sex addict" excuse is just that-an excuse. If you catch him again, after hes "cured" drop it and the earlier, the better. In the meantime, watch him carefully but do not let on. His behavior when he thinks he has your trust will be more telling than the behavior he'll have when he knows you're suspicious of him. Best of luck...
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