A
female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 17 year old girl, and I have worked in a small cafe for the last 4 months. One of the guys there is 32, and I always thought he disliked me. But over the last couple of weeks we have been a lot more comfortable around each other... he is quite flirty with a lot of the girls who work there, but he is different around me. I don't know if I am making a big deal out of it, and maybe he is just trying to improve our (until recently) awkward relationship.Recently me and him were working and he was being really flirty, going on about how much he liked me (as a friend) and how he was the one who told the boss I should work there. And then he said we should go and have a cigarette (he never has one with anyone) so we did. So we sat outside and he said "It is a beautiful night" in a soppy voice (he can be quite romantic) and asked if I have a boyfriend (I said no). At the end of our shift he sort-of hugged me goodbye but I was so surprised I just said bye and walked home. The next day he came over to see me and said "You look nice today". We chatted for a bit but then someone else came in and we didn't talk for the rest of the night. He did ask me why, but I am so bad at talking to guys who are older than me! That is my problem. Because he is so much older than me I am stuck in a completely different world to him. I don't know how to relate to him. He is a really nice man though, he is fair, and a right laugh. But he is also really good-looking, and I am not. So I really doubt he is attracted to me. What goes through the mind of a 32-year old bloke? Help me! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice!
Thing is, is I don't flirt with him. At all. I am pretty off-putting as far as I can tell... :S Oh well I'll see how it goes next time. Thanks again!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): This guy is too old for you, the age gap would not be as big if you were 32 and he was 47, but you are not....there is something wrong with a mature man of his age flirting with a young girl like you. He has issues like possibly he cannot sustain a relationship with a woman more his equal and his own age due to immaturity.
He is looking also at you as a sex object, as you say, it is awkward, you can't relate to him because of his age. There is nothing wrong with your looks, or wrong with you not being able to relate to him, he is simply too old for you to be thinking about in a romantic, or dating kind of way. If I were you, I would continue to be friendly but disinterested, not flirty or you could find yourself into a bit of trouble.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (30 December 2007):
I would suspect the same things go through the mind of a 32-yr.old man, that goes through the mind of an 18 year old man when they think they have a chance of getting laid by a woman who seems interested in them. But until you turn 18, you would be wise to keep things on a friendship level only. For his safety and yours. He could actually get into alot of trouble if he becomes involved with you sexually. After your 18th birthday however, you may want to allow yourself more freedom to see this man socially if he's still interested. Good luck.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): HHMM is he interested in just plain old sex or is he actually in it for something more. I as a male doubt that he's in it for anything but the sex. I 32 yr old male would look to his own age for a relationship. Sorry to say it but maybe he just wants a fling :(
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (30 December 2007):
Well i'm not a 32-year-old bloke but from what you've said it sounds like he really likes you, if you weren't good looking then he wouldnt have said you looked nice that day would he!! Keep it up girly. Got something good going on there! x
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