He is a great father to our kids and they love him but I cant help but feel like hes settling for me,while desiring someone else

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

when i was just barely 16 my mother and stepfather married for 15 years went through an extremely intense divorce. i went to stay with my biological father and there i met the future father of our 3 beautiful children. for 3 months it was great. i never in a million years did i think he would cheat on me. one day i got home from school and i answered the phone, it was a female asking for him. thinking it was completely innocent i gave him the phone. i never had insecure feeling ever. but i got a really wierd feeling so i picked up the other house phone and heard the plans of the next day while i would be at school and his day off he was going to see her. i fell to the floor i could not breathe. how? i did everything for him literally..... that was the problem i guess. i was to clingy and he knew i would come back. and when she left him for his best friend a month and a half later. i had moved out of state. but he called me and i came back the next day. things were ok. i got pregnant with our first daughter and gained alot of weight. it became clear after a while he was not attracted to me. he began showing signs of love towards my sister in law who stayed with us. i even caught him masturbating to her undergarments. i stayed and we ran into a financial situation and moved in with two roomates (worst decision) i was working coming home takin care of the baby and having to clean. i soon found out i was pregnant again... i started nesting. wanting my own place for our little family. i was not even 19 and i was having another baby. i found a house to rent. but he didnt want to go, he wanted to stay there. i did not agree on the illegal activities and alcohol abuse that was going on. so i thought if i moved into the house i found he would mature and come too. wrong. our roomate decieded to be unfaithful to his gf and he brought another woman home and pretty much told her to deal with it. so then he feels bad and gets back with his gf and now my fiance is with her. i found out on my birthday. it killed me but i new he would be back he always comes back to the "good one" he missed out completly on his daughters 1st birthday. so anyway, 3 months later when she is cheating on him and leaving him, he wants me back again. this time i was more distant. he had his new gf and all his friends call me tell me i was fat. ugly, i was nothing but a baby making machine and all kinds of things. i was called a whore on a regular basis. never have i cheated or even thought about it. by now i developed a self esteem, i lost over a hundred lbs and feel good. we get together again. but i cant forget about her. why do the whores get treated like gold????? infact when he came back to me he lied for her. never once talk bad of her never once call the real whore a whore. so now we have a seven month old lil boy and 3 years later she is sill our main problem i cant get over the fact that he makes me feel like he really wants her. and hes waiting on it............ he is a great father to our kids and they love him but i cant feel like hes settling for me,but desires someone else......should i try and fix things or is it not worth it???????

View related questions: best friend, divorce, fiance, insecure, moved in, moved out, self esteem, sister in law

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

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