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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've met this guy that's a few years older than me a few times and recently sent him a text (yesterday at almost 12am) it is now a little past 5. He normally takes a while to answer (few hours) but not this long.Should I just give up and move on (delete him from my phone and every other place I have him so I don't get tempted to try to keep calling him aka become desperate, because at the moment I kinda feel like texting him again cause "maybe he didn't get it", "maybe something happened and his phone didn't receive it", "he saw it but didn't have time to answer and then later it slipped his mind" or "he was drunk when he saw it and then ended up forgetting").. Or is it too soon.. I don't know him too well but I do like him quite a bit and I would like to get to know him more. I keep thinking about it and waiting for it.. My mind is telling me "give up, there is no way a guy like him would like you" and so on. I know it's stupid and silly, I usually don't get this way about guys. I've dated 4-5 people before (not sure if one guy counts or not since it lasted a day and all we did was walk around town for a little less than 24 hours). He told me he had been with 2-3 before (third he says back then to his standards he would say what they were doing was dating/being in a relationship but to most peoples standards it wouldn't be, they held hands spent a lot of time together and called each other often).It's so frustrating to meet new people. And for me it's hard to find someone I like. It's always either I don't like them (too old, buy alcohol every day, I don't think they look nice (even though other girls call them hot/nice/handsome/etc), or they like me but are "taken" and aren't planning on breaking up (Even if they did I wouldn't start meeting them until at least 1 month later, all depending on how long they were together), or I like them but they don't..
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): No, don't jump to conclusions. i know from all my happily married relatives, guys take a long time to text or call back. My aunt has been married for twenty years, and her husband wouldnt call her back for a year after thry met. Now they are married and in love
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): Give it a few days or maybe a week, you've got to give him chance to reply! If he doesn't text you send him a light hearted message ' how you doing, what u been up to? Fancy meeting up this week?' Etc.
He might not even like texting or he might just be busy, so stop worrying (I know it's hard!) Tip: do not be too keen to start with! Keep some mystery and let him wonder about you a bit - maybe dont reply to his messages too quickly and just get on with your life, show him you're independent - I'm learning the hard way :/ good luck!
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 Men that are REALLY interested in you -make the time- to answer your texts.
He's not that into you. Get rid of his number.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): You're too eager and desperate. Yes, it is hard to meet new people. Even harder to keep those you do know, when you fret over the length of time it takes to text you back.If your text isn't urgent, why does it require an urgent reply? Don't measure his interest by the time it takes to call or text you back. Measure it by the frequency he asks you out on a date. If he never asks, he's not that into you; or he can't afford to. Anyone can text you all day. If he likes you, he'll want to spend time being "next to you." He'll want to see you.If it takes a day; maybe it only means he's busy.Maybe he already has a girl?! Don't panic or spaz...just kidding!Maybe he feels no need to text back immediately; because he doesn't know you that well, or he has a lot of text messages from people ahead of you. Remember, how friends can blow up your phone when they think you should text them back in the next 2 seconds. Even if he missed your message, leave it up to him to get back to you first. What smart guy in his right mind would forget about a cute girl who likes him? Really??? If he has a life, he has other things he likes to do; and messaging may not rank high on his list of priorities. many women think, well if he likes me...he'll text me back.Adopt the attitude you don't need a man. You want male companionship. You can delete his number if you like. You may be deleting a lot of good numbers; because some people don't "jump" and get back to you pronto. Look at all the scenarios you wrote as a reason he didn't text. Consider them all. Come across a little less interested, and let him chase you. Guys always want what they can't have. Don't go over-board! Make him wait for you to get back to him.Flip the script. Some guys don't like being chased.When he gets back to you, put your phone in your purse or in another room. Keep busy for a while, then call him back.Guys don't like being tracked down by phone. The sooner women learn this in the dating game, the better advantage you have.Practice this and you won't get the phone-jitters when guys don't call back straightaway. You need to teach guys not to be so sure of themselves. Eager girls inflate their egos; so they sit back and count how many times she'll call or text. The more eager she is, the more likely he will try and take advantage of her. He'll also test to see if you're a phone-stalker. He'll show his friends. They'll write you off as psycho, and he'll delete or block you first. The less you seem interested, up goes the question marks???? He'll wonder if "YOU'RE" still interested. When he actually contacts you, he'll ask if you got his message(s). Just play coy and sweet.Then say, you were a little busy. Then quickly change the subject or just pause for his response. Don't apologize unless he seems really upset. Then you know he's really interested!You hardly know him, so what have you got to lose?
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 I kinda feel like texting him again cause "maybe he didn't get it", "maybe something happened and his phone didn't receive it", "he saw it but didn't have time to answer and then later it slipped his mind" or "he was drunk when he saw it and then ended up forgetting"Aah, haven't we all been there? Waiting, wondering if we actually did press send, checking and re-checking that the message has been sent, wishing we'd turned the delivery report function on. Believe me, the scenarios you listed very rarely actually happen. They usually "happen" because someone lies about it. Most messages are delivered and read, and sometimes people choose to delete or ignore them. Don't be tempted to text him again, you will only make a fool of yourself. Do delete his number and any other contact details. When you are the one who decides to stop the contact it is actually quite an empowering and liberating thing. Meeting people is extremely frustrating, mostly because so many people are not transparent. I have the same problems you do, and so do many others. When I meet someone and something starts, I am optimistic and excited, but then cracks appear. In the past I tended to cling on to any shred of hope with an unsuitable person, mainly because I didn't want to have to go through it all again - meeting a guy, getting to know him, the uncertainty of where it might be going, the uncertainty of everything. Now I am quicker to let go when I see that there is little hope for a future. I wish you luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): Delete his number- but don't memorise it first ;) lol! Regardless of what experience you have, everyone's different and you'll meet the right guy eventually- and You're obviously quite smart, independent and savvy :) if he texts you back just say u lost his number and take things lightly as friends. Whatever you do try not to dwell on him a d get into a downwards spiral, impossible though it is! ;)
Take care and love your life as an individual! :) xxx
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