A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf of 3 years recently got faster internet on his pc, the problem is ever since gettin the internet he has been really slacking off with cleaning and house maintenance, i work full time and he doesnt and i get so tired of coming home to do everything. he sits on his pc all day chatting to people, and he is very secretive, like when i walk into the study room he close of chat screens and shut off his web cam, and he often lies to me about how long he is actually be online. in the past his internet usage caused us problems due to me finding out about a secret relationship he was having with another female, im worried all of it will start up again, what can i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think I can talk to him about this, in the past when i have tried to talk to him about his internet usage it always turns bad, he yells at me and wont talk to me for a week, i dont need that kind of stress in my life. he got up at 6am today and i had to get up at 8am to go to work, yet he gets out of bed, goes into the study which is next to our bedroom and starts playing games on his pc, i could not get back to sleep, all i could here was the clicking and tpying on his computer, i told him that morning that he kept me up, yet he did not saying anything back. its like he dont even care, im so tired now.
A
female
reader, blackncute +, writes (14 December 2006):
My dear, thats wht we call a red flag in a relationship, he may b doing something fishy, like chatting with a new gal he got, pls talk to him, tell him what u feel abt his internet habit, and ask him to tell u the truth, n make a constructive decision thereafter.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): Due to what has happened in the past Id say you have reason to be suspicious of his internet activity. You need to talk it through with him tell him why you feel suspicious and also point out that his past behaviour gives you good reason to question him. See what he says, ask him to show you the history on his computer to show you what he has been viewing and who he has been chatting to. Make it clear that you dont want to be untrusting of him but little things like quickly closing chat windows when you enter the room causes this doubting feeling and you are worried of history repeating itself. I think you need to 'talk' it through rather than 'argue' it out of him, a nicer approach should make him more understanding of your reasoning and give you a better response. Good luck
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A
female
reader, lorr +, writes (14 December 2006):
I have recently experienced the same thing with my now ex partner who was regularly on myspace exchanging flirtatious and intimate messages. He was also planning to meet this woman without my knowledge.It was only when my intuition got the better of me, that I found out by going onto his myspace account.The best thing that I did was to dump his sorry behind. In my opinion, the best thing would be to cut your losses and move on, as it shows that your BF does not have any respect for you.I know its hard, but believe me there will be loads of decent men out there, who will want a honest relationship with someone like you. Take the time by enjoying being single,go out with friends, take up a new hobby. Your BF is not worth your time, and better that you found out now then months down the line.Good luck
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