A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem, I started going out with this great man and I have known him for awhile before we started going out, so I know that he is an honest and hard working man. However, I am very insecure about things, my pervious relationships all ended bad, with the other guys leaving me for other women. So I have major issues with ex's, I much rather not known about his past girlfriends (which is a lot), but one day he did talk to me about a woman that he was planning on marrying, and how she changed her mind at the last minute. He told me that he believed it was her friends that made her change her mind, because they didn't like him because he was older than them. I tried not to worry or even think about it because if you are planning to marry someone then you must have really loved them. Then he told me that he is still friends with her, and might talk to her once in a while. Again, I tried not to let it bother me. However, I was staying at his house for a few days, and I happened to be looking for a movie in one of his closet and came across a box, I peeked in it and found some pictures of him and her together, again I tried to let it slide because they were in a box in the closet, so I talk myself into believe that it was past memories and nothing else. But a few weeks later, again in his closet on top I saw some cards, thinking they were my cards that I gave him, I went to get them so I can read what I wrote in them, since it has been awhile since I gave them to him, but the card that I pulled down was not mine, it was a romantic card and it was from the woman he almost married. It was their first Valentine’s Day card (I know this because that is what she wrote), I was in tears. He had to know that he had that up there because it was right next to my cards. I don't know if I should say something, or try to get over it. I tend to always think the worst, so do you think I am over reacting about it? Should I talk to him about it? Or forget about it?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Thank you for all the advice. I decide to put it passed me; I know that he does not have the heart to cheat on anyone, especially me. Also thanks for the link, it was very helpful.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): As we go through life we have many experiences, lost loves, failed relationships, unrequited loves, failed friendships and so on.
It is always going to be hard to let go of the past.
I have a box, and it's full of things from past loves, and I don't keep them because I still love the people they're related to.
I adore a guy now, and can't imagine being with any of the people that I have memories connected with in that box.
But yet I still keep the box. Just because if I threw away those things it would be almost as if those experiences never existed. Time would go on and the memories would fade and it would be almost as if nothing but the present exists.
Sometimes, as humans, I think we just like to remember that we have existed beyond what is actually happening now.
In short, I don't think he still loves his ex. I'm sure he just doesn't want to pretend that it never happened. After all, presumably she broke his heart into a million pieces, after someone does that you very rarely forgive or continue to love that person.
...............................
|
