A
female
,
*egendary_sonja
writes: He goes down when were about to have sex.He has had sex with other women, not having any problems, i am his first serious relationship, and we have tries to have sex three times, and failed. He is erected and then when we go to have sex or put the comndom on, he goes down straight away. His problem is only with me. He has never had any problem like this before. Whats happening, it feels like it is me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): He may have said it was fine with other women because he was embaressed and to make himself feel better?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): if you're feeling really bad about this problem talk to him. why not try some oral sex before you try to have sex to see if it helps him stay harder for longer. he may have had problems staying erect before but doesnt want to admit it. talk to him casually before making a big deal out of it to keep the pressure off him. you dont need to have intercourse to be intimate with someone.
good luck!
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (13 May 2006):
There's lots of reasons this could happen, but it's him, not you.
Given that it's his first serious relationship, it's quite possibly performance anxiety. Whilst previously he possibly didn't care that much how the person he was with felt, with you he probably cares very much. If a guy is really worrying about how his sexual partner will feel, it can make him nervous enough to lose his erection.
I recommend a book called 'The New Male Sexuality' by Bernie Zilbergeld. It has lots of great advice on how to approach this situation. Stuff the two of you can do together to help him, and who to talk to / where to go if you need more help.
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