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He has increasingly gotten rude, if the house isn't clean enough, he gets angry and he has gotten rude with my kids...

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *pazz228 writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, I have 2 kids (ages 12 and 9) he has 1 kid (age 11) I have pretty much loved him from the start. About a year ago I was forced to leave my house, and he suggested we live with him. I was floored, for 3 years prior we had argued about that, saying he was used to being alone. Now we have lived together for a year and 2 months.

At first everything was great, kind of like a magical beginning, but lately (about 7 months) he has increasingly gotten rude, if the house isn't clean enough, he gets angry (but doesn't say anything) and he has gotten rude with my kids, he even goes as far as blaming everything that happens on them first and then me. We have talked about this and for a couple days things will be alright, but then its back again. I am losing my patience with him and can't take it anymore.

I am starting to believe that we should not have moved in together. But if I move out now, then that means we break up and move out of state (going back home) Don't want to give up after so many years together, but my patience has dried up and we fight all the time now. Not sure what to do any more. Help!

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A female reader, spazz228 United States +, writes (14 August 2007):

spazz228 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you, I only put this up here because I thought I was overeacting, but now I know I am not. I hate saying goodbye after all the effort I put in this relationship, but you are right, and I am not overeacting (some people have said I was) and its time for a change. Thank you to the people who have respondednso far.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007):

thats sad, if he wants his home back than he'll never want marriage, you can't do that to yourself or your KIDS. I can't believe you would do that to your children, I just can't believe you would pick him over them that is very very very sad. I say leave him now before he gets worse, be a mother put emotions aside and do what's best for them not just you.

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A female reader, spazz228 United States +, writes (13 August 2007):

spazz228 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi, whenever we talk about it he makes the comment "okay then Im an A**H**E" and he says it very sarcastically. Pretty much what you said is what I have been thinking, he wants his house back the way it was before we moved in.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

I am going to suggest counseling for you together if you can't work it out on your own. What does he say when you try speaking with him about why he is acting this way? It's possible he is thinking he wishes he had his house back to himself again. Maybe he wants privacy, maybe he wants to sneak around and can't b/c you and the kids are there. I don't know. But you have to ask him if the reason he is being mean is b/c he wants to live alone again and tell him that if you move out you will have to move out of state. All you can do is see what he says and take it from there.

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