| A ,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I need your advice. I am 19, been with my boyfriend (23) for two years. He has a 4 year old boy from a previous relationship. He has big committment issues. I think it is because his ex was so horrible to him and wouldn't let him see his boy at first. Anyway he has broken up with me three times already and his excuses have been "I was scared". The last time was when we came back from a holiday from the Carribean. It was a great holiday and I thought everything was going so well. Then out of the blue he tells me he doesnt love me anymore. Two days later though he apologised and I forgave him... Again! The thing is, a lot has happened to make me not trust him, his ex still texts him and he replies being flirty, another ex got in contact and asked to meet for casual sex and he said yes (i found this out because the girl showed me the messages). He said he knew it was a joke. I can't even text him when his ex is there in case she goes mad! I forgive him for all of this and now its getting very hard. He has his own house and says he can see us living together 2 years from now. But i dont think i believe him. Do you think I should just try to trust him or should I give up and try to find someone new?
View related questions:
flirt, his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): In his eyes you are being too cheap, he hasnt had to work to get you back so he is just camping on your time. He is orobably the type of guy who will have the cheek to cause trouble once you break it off. Put it this way he needs to re-sort his list so cut him loose and if he shuffles you to the top you will soon know!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): Hey,it sounds to me that you can do better, yeah he's had some poo in his life, but so has everyone... i think you should tell him that if he doesnt sort out his priorities and tell you what you mean to him you wont speak to him or have any contact with him for 1 week or so until he sorts it out once and for all. it may sound harsh, but sometimes tough love is good love. that way you will know where you stand, what you mean to him, and you can make a decision based on that.hope this helps x
...............................
A
female
reader, lookingforhappiness +, writes (9 August 2006):
hi there, it's tough not being able not to trust someone you love. I am in the same situation, I was in the same situation again a while ago, and what I do is to listen to my heart. I left my previous partner, I knew i wasn't happy and i didn't deserve to be treated in a bad way, feeling suspicious and being told lies all the time. I am happier now, i had another relationship after that which i decided to end as well because i had the same feelings of suspicion and unhappiness. trust ur instincts, there's the right person for each one of us, and that person shouldn't make u feel like questioning your relationship all the time. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2006): Been there, done that, if you have to wonder about a guy, he's not the one for you. You can be happier, but i know its hard to leave somebody when you love them, I did that for three years and it was the worst years of my life. But if you're happy the way you are..........go for it!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): I think that you should get out now while you can, before you start falling deeper and deeper in love with him. These issues you have with him will always be playing up on the back of your mind and i dont think you can have a relationship like that. your better off without him. i know it will be hard at first but you will grow stronger! When there is ex girlfriends still in the scene its a no go ! katy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): I have had a similar problem to you. I am 26 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We have had big issues in relation to trust with him texting other girls etc and now it has come to a point where i still love him but can't trust him because everytime he says he wont do it again he does. I am not happy with him and doubt you are either. It is a hard decision to make but think about the rest of your life and whether you will really be happy with this guy. If not and you dont think you can really trust him it is not going to work i'm afraid. Do something before you both have children etc.
...............................
A reader, Christina, writes (30 January 2005): Again Girl, get a grip on reality. Why do we keep making excuses for these men. We let them get away with SHIT and wonder why they keep dishing it out!!!!!!!!Get to the bookstore and buy:"He's just not that into you", by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo.Why is our self esteem in regards to relationships so low??????Christina
...............................
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (27 January 2005):
 I think your boyfriend is untrustworthy and seems to enjoy receiving attention from girls, yourself included. I don't really think he knows what he wants. Whatever has occurred in his past does not make it right for him to treat you badly. He obviously still sees his ex and the fact that you can't text him when she is there is suspicious in itself.It also sounds to me as if he is just dangling a carrot at you in terms of you both living together two years from now. Why two years away?He is playing games with you. One minute he loves you, then he doesn't. Kick him to the kerb and go out and find a decent guy who you deserve to meet and leave this one to continue playing around. He will be the one who will end up on his own.Good luck.
...............................
|
