A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do with my boyfriend who's going through a very tough time right now. Recently he got hired for a job after 2 months of being jobless, we were both happy for that as he was getting depressed that he couldn't find a job. And then he was hired so he was ecstatic and I was so happy for him.It was a tough first month on this new job, he worked outdoors from 7am to 7pm without overtime pay..I encouraged him to be patient. He was very hardworking. He lost weight and had sunburned skin all the time. Our talking time which usually lasted the whole night would go down to 30 minutes until he would say that he had to sleep as he was so exhausted and I would just watch him on camera until he sleeps.(We only meet during the weekends and chat on weekdays)Then suddenly, on monday he calls me at 8am to tell me that a coworker shouted at him and he was unable to control himself. He hit him on the face. As he was the new guy, he was terminated on the spot.We still talk to each other on the phone but not online. We haven't met yet since the termination but I feel like he is so depressed, when he calls me, he is not himself...like his voice was sad and so unlike him who's always jolly and full of laughter.Anyway, I don't know what to do..I want to be there for him but he is not so responsive. Should I assure him that I am here by initiating communication or back off a bit and wait for him to contact me first? I miss him but I will leave him in peace if he is not stable for a relationship right now. I know some people want to be alone when having a problem, sometimes I am like this. I feel so sad.Please help. :(
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female
reader, Yodler  +, writes (30 September 2010):
I would take advantage of this opportunity to get out.
Resorting to fists is a BAD BAD sign. If he is going to hit a coworker over being shouted at, there may come a day he uses his fists on you.
To lose your job in a time like this is very sad, he had to have known he would be fired for striking a co-worker. This just shows me that he has difficulty controlling his impulses.
What he needs is anger management training, not someone supporting him. I assume he is about your age, it is time for him to grow up, sad to add to his hurt, but you have to take care of yourself.
Maybe this will be the impetus for him to change, either way, very good potential for him to hit you some day!
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