A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'll try not to be vey long, but I have a guy I have developed more than "friendly" feelings for. We've known each other for two years and about a year ago he got himself a girlfriend. Now, I know that this is territory I shouln't invade, but he's been giving me mixed signals for about 3 months. When we're at college and sees me, he is very nice, he'll hug me and ask me what I've been up to. When we want to hang out between classes, we do, he'll buy me lunch (in which he must insist because the last time I turned down letting him pay for coffee and bought it myself he ended up buying nothing for himself) he wants to spend more time with me out of no where. Like when we have to go our seperate ways, he'll invite me to go watch him for example, practice volleyball. There was another time when he wanted to spend time with me alone and just put his head on my lap for no real reason and wanted me to rub his head! There was a time he had just met a girlfriend of mine that day and he bought us something to eat. Maybe I'm just taking it for niceties, but then he won't call me or text me unless I do first or if I text him to call me he will earlier or at the time I ask him to. I had an extra ticket to a play and I took him along with me and he took me out to dinner at a very nice and quiet restaurant, but was very casual, we spoke and were very comfortable with each other. After that, I feel as though things have changed. I'll text him and it'll take a while before he texts back, I haven't seen him for a while, so that might be the case, but I am just confused, not to mention my worried over the girlfriend too. Is he playing around? Or am I just feeling and seeing things?Thanks bunch and sorry for making this sooo painfully long!
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (2 January 2008):
Baby girl this is what is called emotional manipulation.He knows how much you care for him and he's abusing that knowledge.The earlier you do say something,the better. All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell for starters, I have to agree with both you guys. Now he's become totally distant without any real reason. He is being immature and it seems like he'll speak to me whenever he pleases, I think when he's bored. Now I have no idea what to do. I really want to put him and his place and call it on him, but is it worth the hassle? I mean, now he just does that kinda thing and it only infuriates me because he's being immature and downright stupid. Should it even be a good idea to call him on it? Lord knows I'm very close to saying something...
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (13 December 2007):
For your sake,RUN! Look what makes you think he's likely to end things with his girlfriend and come running to you? He finds your company really satisfying and is scared to want more.I've broken a number of girls' hearts just like the way the dude is behaving and if i'm right you can only be a friend with benefots,nothing more.Is that what you want?
Put him in his place and draw the line on your friendship because he's seeing someone.Please be careful,you might be the one crying in the end.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, tiger74 +, writes (13 December 2007):
Well my first thought is that he may have been having some problems with the gf and leaned on you for understanding and comfort. His dinner with you may have been an experiment to see how he really felt about his gf. After that he may have told his gf and got pissed so that blacklisted you. OR he may have realized that his gf was the one he wanted and seeing you makes him feel guilty. I'm sorry to say this but I think he has moved past you. Romantically speaking you should move on and find someone else. I'm a romantic myself and believe that this was meant to be then he'll come back to you one day.Good luck with things.
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