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anonymous
writes: i was in such a loving relationship, we were like 2 peas in a pod. 10 weeks ago i was in paris with the love of my life of 6 years we had a ball. He had future plans and i was always in them. He made a statement coming home from paris that i regret i never picked up on he said "its been great getting away from all our phone calls and debts eh?? And now were going back to them" Three days later he broke down told me he was in debt that i never knew about, he couldnt afford xmas gifts, he was being bullied in the work place and since having his own car there has been problem after problem. He said he couldnt live without me, but at this time he couldnt live with me, he wanted time on his own but didnt want me to wait. He couldnt look at me or touch me. He just cried. I gave him time but let him know i was there, i heard he hit rock bottom, constantly cried about how much he loved me but couldnt be with me. i offered help but he said he got himself in this mess he will get himself out.Then after new year i heard he went on a wild spree, joined the casino, alcohol and even drugs. I have now found out he has a new girlfriend. Im heart broken but now know that the person im still very much in love with is now gone. But why do i still miss him and still very much in love after every thing he has done. Its so sad that its finished cause what we had was so special. There was no sign of this coming, i just cant understand why someone who was so loving and caring cant even look at me in the street, where did it go wrong and why?? Every one tells me to start hating him but i really cant. My only one thing is that one day i hope he wakes up and regrets what he has done. Is this possible, do people realise they have made mistakes and its not so greener on the other side?? Thank you for listening Nick"
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, unknown, writes (12 February 2005): God has a plan for everyone and you werent meant to be with him so try going out on some dates take it easy dont rush take it at your own speed listen with your heart
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2005): There are addicts anon. groups I suggest you contact them for help. Not as an addict yourself but they can put you in touch with someone who can help you understand the state of mind of the person you care for. This will help you to understand someone out of control, the secret life etc etc. He is definately out of control.You don't say if you are responsible for any money owed, i.e. if he has stolen from you.He won't be able to look at you in the street in the same way I am sure he has difficulty looking at himself shaving in the morning. It's nothing about you and who you were to him except he is just very ashamed he has let you down.It is not worth hating him as you say you are encouraged to do. Hate is such a strong emotion and such a waste of your energy.Hopefully, he will get it together one day. Yes, some people realise their mistakes. But that does not mean you should keep your life on hold for him... you should move on and realise yours. His mistakes could include losing you but he will have to deal with that, along with other mistakes. He has destroyed trust and taken a big chunk of your life and called it a lie.Don't hate him, pity him, hope he gets better for his sake but move on and make a new life for yourself.
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