A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A year ago I got my heart broken by the first guy that I ever gave my 100 percent all to. After being with him almost every day for 11 months, I found out a day before his wedding that he was getting married to his ex girlfriend. I felt my world shatter as I lost my best friend and my boyfriend all at once. I was left with just a good bye and with no reason why or how he did what he did. It took me a while to really realise that it was really over. We never spoke since the day he finally admitted that he was getting married.I didn't start seen anyone till may 08. It was nothing serious. We only got together 2 times, it was clear to both of us we were only friends. Since then I been on dates with a few guys. They were sweet and we had fun but I started to notice as closer as we would get with them, the more smiles they would put on my face for some reason I would find a reason to stop talking to them. Every so often me and that first guy that I started to see in May (we will call him brad) would text each other just to catch up.Lately I been thinking about brad a lot and just so happen he called 2 days ago and asked if I could come over and kick it. I told him okay but only for and hour because I had to got to work. When I got there I felt we both had the same vibes. In our first sentence we both called each other "stanger" at the same time, when we first looked in each other I saw something there that I never saw in his eyes before, after our first kiss that night he kept asking " where have you been all this time". We cuddled as we talked and laughed about things we never talked about before. He explained to me about all the different things he did in his life and he asked me about mine. We never got that deep before. As I was about to leave he told me we should go have dinner one night so let him know when I'm free. Ever sence then I haven't got him out of my head. I saw a side that I thought I would never see. Before I just saw him as a friend with benefits but now I really don't know. I don't like this feeling and it makes me really really scared, so scared I can cry. I don't know what to believe, how to act, and I really can't tell if he's just trying to play a game. The part that is most confusing about it is he got what he wanted from the start, so why does he think he has to play "the role".
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best friend, ex girlfriend, friend with benefits, his ex, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Good luck to you and I am glad you have a friendship with this guy. Opening up is hard. Giving yourself up for a person is hard. Baby steps for you. Take it slow and you will be ok.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you ... i know i wrote that question awhile ago but when i first got it it made alot of sence. since nov we been on 4 dates that ended really nice and we haven't ot goiadded any sex in it since then. i think this friendship we got growing might just turn in to a special relationship, don't you think
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 November 2008):
I just want to clarify, the guy you are seeing Brad, he is NOT the one who was dishonest and saw you even though he was getting married, right?
So this Brad, he is the first guy you saw after your "breakup". I will tell you that you probably were not ready for a comittment and maybe he wasn't either. You were lonely and thus the friends with benefits. Now, after some time, you (and he) is opening yourselves to a deeper relationship. I think you need to pursue this and give this man a chance. Sometimes love isn't about the person you're with, it's all about timing. When people aren't ready, they aren't ready. He has kept you in his life because he is drawn to you. You are drawn to him. You have developed a friendship (ok, based somewhat on sex). I think you should give this a chance to develope into something more.
Open yourself for the potential. You found fault with the other dates because you weren't ready, and maybe they weren't right. You will never find the one if you don't allow yourself to open up.
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