A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Long story short. I met this guy last year in an airport, we connected and didn't see eachother for 8 months but from time to time facebooked. Then in January he found out I was visiting his home town for a friends birthday and suggested he take me on a date. 6 weeks leading up to me coming down we talked and text everyday quite a lot as well as video messaging, it got really intense and he admitted although he was once a player he wants to settle down and we really started to fall for eachother. He would ring to talk about everything and anything from hopes for the future and bad days at work and would even get jealous and ask questions about other guys. Then the day came we met up again, he wouldn't stop kissing me and telling me how beautiful I was. I stayed at his for 6 days, met his family and friends and all was great. We had a talk before I left about what we do from now, and agreed long distance would be too hard, but we would stay in touch as I am moving to the same town for work in 5 months. He dropped me at the airport and gave me a big hug and kiss and said he'll miss me. That was 3 days ago and he has gone totally cold with me. He hasn't called or text me, if I text him he will reply and be nice but won't initiate contact. I felt lost and confused so text him asking WTF you've played me?! And he said "it's not like that jem I swear,it was just different when u were here. I do want all the things I talked about with you but I don't know where I'm at. i want all the future stuff but when I get the chance to have it with someone like you I dont know what happens to me" what the hell??? I'm so hurt that I've gone from all that to nothing. I don't know what to do. I feel so rejected and my self confidence is trampled. Any advice?
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at work, confidence, facebook, hasn't called, jealous, kissing, long distance, player, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 He's backpedaling like crazy. Seems to me, out of sight out of mind?
I don't think I would expect him to be there for you when you move there in 5 months. Yes, LDR are hard, but not impossible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): If it were right, he'd move heaven and earth to be with you, to prove to you that you were all he needed. you're not. I'm so sorry you're going through this - he may well have meant it when you were there, but his feelings were based on sexual chemistry and not blossoming love, my advice would be to try to move on, go out with friends, block him on fb and get on with your life. I know it doesnt feel like it right now but in time your pain will subside and you will meet a great man who will love you and want to be with you whether you're staying with him on 2000 miles away!Be strong, hold your head up high and chalk it up to experience. Let it go whilst you still have your dignity, no amount of texting/talking/internet chat is going to change his mind - plus you shouldn't have to persuade him! You're awesome just as you are! Read "He's just not that into you" it makes a lot of sense!!Good luck x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 I guess he has a fear of commitment, in his heart he wants to change and settle down but in his head he still wants to be young free and single and this is why you are getting mixed messages. Am sorry that you have been so badly affected by this man but if he is having doubts already then the future looks very bleak for you both. It was better that you found this out now than later on down the line. I guess you just need to accept that he is not wanting to commit to anything at the moment and realise that it has nothing to do with you its just his issues. Take these next 5 months to clear your head and give yourself some time and you never know once you move over there and you are close to him things might be different and he may realise just what he will be losing if he lets you go. Goodluck with the move and I hope it all works out for you.
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