A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy for about three months now. I am 18 and he is 27. We recently talked about our relationship and come up with the conclusion that we are exclusive but we realize that our relationship is limited due to our age difference and future changes. Recently he mentioned me to his family and got a similar response: we are most likely not going to end up with each other because I am going to change so much due to my age. However, I am confused because the other day he mentioned that a high school girl asked for his number and he gave it to her without fully realizing her age I don't understand why he would tell me this. Is he just seeing if I will react to this or is this a sign that he is not serious. I don't get why he would do that. Also, he continuously questions if I have other guys that are hitting on me. In reality I am choosing not to pursue other guys because I like him a lot, but he constantly thinks that I'm flirting and with other men. What is going on? What should I do?
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male
reader, Ronaldron  +, writes (1 May 2009):
Well...i'm sort of going through a similar situation.
I'm 25 and she's 17 . we had a crush and i felt really really insecure due to the age difference. Like i'm getting settled and she's still very young and fresh while there are plenty of guys who's after her. I think what he mean by concluding you guys wont work out isn't waht he really means. To me it's more like he wants you but then the society might not accept that, and if u dont giv him enough assurance, he'll only drill into a dead end of a hole sooner or later. I've stuffed up the sort of relatinoship i had with the girl so yeh i do know how it feels for the guy ur talking about.
For the first couple of weeks i can still take it, but as more time goes by, i just feel very insecure and started to worry and over think anything she does. Eg, she doesn't send me any sort of sweet messages anymore, Eg she use to reply my messages straight away, but now she waits for like 10 hrs to reply. etc....she use to call me if i didnt' contact her for say a day, to see if i'm ok, now if i dont call her for 5-7 days..she'll just be all normal..
Well in my perspective, i'm more looking at some kind of assurance that she still needs me, like wanting to talk to me, wanting to see how i am. or maybe not a long chat, just a 1 min good nite call will do . I'm not getting any of these and i'm really worried and start to think negatively. Then she find me annoying and clingy. She actually said it's not a big deal for me to not able to talk to her for over two weeks and think i'm thinking that it's such a big deal while it's not. She used to want to talk to me but this is the mssage she sent me last nite " I dont feel like i need to be on the phone with you all the time. I have a life and you know i'm really busy with everything. And you've got your own life. I can't always update you and every change i decide on" HAHA...before she pushed me to express my feeling it's always her who loves to talk more on the phone, etc.. She alwyas want to finish uni work and tell me to call. etc.
SO...........I think this is very normal for a guy to be insecure while u are so young and he doesn't know what u are thinking..... Hav u constantly reinforce his brain that you do need him? if not try it.(that is if u really like him)
A
female
reader, Vixen Green +, writes (1 May 2009):
 This guy sounds like bad news. First off, for him to suggest that your relationshipt does not have a future is a red flag. People get married at your ages and its understood that people grow and change. He's 27, but he'll be different in 10 years. This is not an excuse not to pursue a long-term relationship. If two people like each other, they disregard societies rules and go for it.
It sounds like he's making excuses because he just doesn't want a long-term relationship with you. And by him giving a high-schooler his number, and telling you about it--he's letting you know that.
I'd start looking for other dating opportunities and let this one go. He'll take you thru it if you allow him to--so don't!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): Maybe he's tired of being the paranoid jealous one and wanted a little bit from you. Thus, the phone number story. Maybe it means that he IS serious and doesn't know how you feel, so he told you about the girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This reminds me of a guy I dated when I was 20 and he was 31...The age difference even for you is too much. The fact that he gave his number to a high school girl claiming he didn't know her age is disgusting...you deserve better. Dont waste another day on him! Your young and can meet so many other guys, he sounds like a real jerk and trust me dont get caught up in this..you'll look back and think why did I waste 1 year,2years....who knows! Go out, and meet more men:)
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