A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend signs off his emails and text messages with XOXO to women, particularly women who've expressed an interest in him. Even a ;) at times. I've seen the exchanges and conversations and they are deep relationship talks and sometimes flirtatious. He of course hides these from me or won't ever discuss these "friendships". I believe he is aware that signing off messages like that leads girls to think they have an open door to flirt with him even though his status shows we are in a relationship. It makes me uncomfortable and sad. I feel women don't care about status, if they have a crush on a guy they will try to get in with him and that he likes to do this for his ego...you know, make girls want him and think they could steal him from me....I don't know how to convey this to him because we've discussed it before and it doesn't resonate.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): I'm going through the same thing right now. It's like I'm not "allowed" to say anything about it too. He gets very upset, like I'm accusing him of something and all fo the sudden I'm the bad guy and he's silent or kind of ignores me for a few days. I feel like I can't express my feelings at all. Maybe it's my fault for being too easy to get along with. He doesn't see anything wrong with flirting with other women. It is disrespectful and hurtful. The worst part for me is that my feelings aren't being acknowledged. I wish there was an answer besides, move on!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I keep thinking I need to relax and just trust him, but it's beyond trust, I feel people need just plain respect for the person your with. He seems to be disrespecting me and the sanctity of our relationship by kind of leading these ladies on. It is something he does often an of course, doesn't tell me about it. I find out because my intuition says something is up (not necessarily cheating, but emotionally he is seeking attention from the nobodies) and I look and find out. I wonder if he is unhappy with me, or attracted to these women, or what? It's super confusing and makes me feel nauseous. "XOXO" at the end of every text or email is just puts a bad taste in my mouth and a skip in these others girls hearts. It's so sad :(.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Hes having his cake and eating it wouldnt we all like to be constantly flirting with other people rather than the one we are in a relationship with...but this is about loyality. All i can suggest is that u tell him again how it makes u feel..try to ask him how he would feel if u wer getting on like that with other guys...i would say mayb you should giv him a taste of his own medicine but i suppose that would be just lowering you to his level and wouldnt actually solve anything. if he continues even tho he knows how much it is stressing u then give him the heave ho. different people will tolerate different things in relationhips but im along with u on this one i certainly wouldnt tolerate this because the way i see it is that if your in a relationship with me then i expect you to focus your attentions on me...not every other woman you see/talk too. Hope this helps you darling x
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