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female
,
anonymous
writes: why?would a man[who has never been married and doesn't have children] want to be in a relationship with a woman,when he thinks all woman drag you down and destroy your life? i've been with my boyfriend just over a year,[in the begining he was loving and really cared] and all the love and affection both myself and my children give him, doesn't seem to make any impact at all.Yet when i say i don't think it's working between us, he doesn't want to split up? i'm a very out going and bubbly person,but i feel now that i'm just as misable and moody like him, and i've had all the suffing knocked out of me. being 42yrs old, im to old for dating, and maybe thats why i stay, so i'm not on my own again.[had been for 11yrs, and hated it].i just don't get it?what do i do wrong?
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female
reader, quarteter +, writes (11 July 2006):
I do sympathise, as I too had been alone for 12 years with my son, and have now met someone. It's very scary the thought of being on your own again. You don't sound happy though and maybe the time has come to go your own seperate ways. Life is hard enough without feeling miserable. I do think there is a big difference between people who haven't had children and those who have. There is almost always a selfish streak in those who haven't. The first reply is right, I don't think he is ready to commit to you. I wish you luck ,but most of all, think what makes you happy, and if the relationship has stopped doing that, then it's time to let it go, for your children's sake too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): I think you will have to accept that your boyfriend is not ready for a commitment with you. He obviously enjoys your company but is not ready to settle down and be a family. You are not on the same page in your relationship, and in my experience if he's not ready for any commitment now, then he probably never will be. This is obviously making you very unhappy and you can't make him want the same things as you.There is nothing that you are doing wrong it's him and the way he feels, he has issues and I doubt if you will be able to change them. You can either accept what he says and go on as you are or you can end the relationship and possibly find someone else who can give you what you want.Think about it carefully and look in your heart to find whether you really want him. I sympathise with you as I have experienced this myself. I ended up feeling very depressed, trying hard to make something work that would never be. Only you can decide what is best for you.
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