A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I've been dating a guy on and off for 4yrs. The relationship we have is pretty much weird. We're not boyfriend girlfriend. Because that's the way I guess he wants it. He calls me when he wants to which is usually after hours in the am. I've had a talk with him about where this was going and he said it was my choice but its in a deadend. I don't know if I should wait a little longer for him to get all his partying out of his system so that he could settle down with me. He's 7yrs older then me. But he still goes out with his friends and drinks. I haven't spoken to him in 2wks because he hasn't answered my calls. My heart is set on him but I don't want to be walked on anymore. I've known him for 7yrs and dated him for 4yrs. I care about him so much but I don't want to be that girl anymore. I feel that I'm just a girl he calls because he knows I'm always here. He might be going out with girls right now but I don't know. I need some advice Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): He calls you for a botty call. Just becaise you're in love with him doesn't mean he's gouing to return your feelings. You are setting yourself up to get hurt. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE the bad boy and go find the nice guy that will treat you right in the 1st place.
J
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (24 December 2007):
 Sounds to me like you do know. This guy is using you. Whatever happened to dating????? A movie, a nice dinner, going to a show? If the only time this guy is calling you is late at night then I think you have the answer to your question. Leave him, and get a real man who can take you on a real date.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): I'd suggest screwing up your courage and telling him EXACTLY how you feel. Write it out first so you get everything in and see what he says. But nothing will change unless you tell him exactly how you feel. You cant move on with your life - one way or the other- until you figure out something.
But be patient. If you sounded happy I would say except it for what it is and enjoy the ride, things will come together. But it doesnt sound like you feel this way, so do something, but be patient with his answer and patient with things pregoressing after that - one way or the other - . Maybe he needs time to grow up more, so you could be patient, but I wouldn't want you to waste time being patient for something that you are not sure if it will come.
Hope this helps... I was in a similar situation, and after 3yrs I finally said, ya know whats going on, and things have been better since then. I wish you luck.
Of course if hes not into it, give yourself time. dont take his calls, break the addiction on both ends and you will find someone wonderful who deserves your time and love.
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