A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who is going through a tough time right now (separated and living on his own). We have been talking and seeing each other off and on for over a year. I really like him because he is very nice to me and though I have a weight problem, he has never condemed me for it. He is the only one who has never commented about my weight. In fact, he made a comment that he did not understand why I was self concious about my stomach around him because he has seen me in every position possible and he still comes back to me. The problem is that I thought we were just friends with benefits as everytime we would go out, we would have sex afterwards. I even told him that I could not be just FWBs. He tried to tell me that it was more than that, yet he made it a point to tell me that he could not tell me what I wanted to hear (love). Not sure if it's because he does not love me or if he is still dealing with the love lost for his estranged wife or the fact that love is a very strong emotion to him not to be taken lightly?!? I dunno.The other day, we spent the whole day and night together. This was the first time we did not have sex. It started to get passionate and then he just kinda stopped. I was a little disappointed, but did not say anything. He held me ALL night long. The next morning, again, it started to get passionate and then he just kinda stopped. Saying that sometimes it is good to just hold each other. I told him that I agreed, but that it was odd for us considering the last time we were together we had sex 3 times in less than 24 hours. He then told me that he wanted me to know that it was more than just sex, that is why we did not do go through with it. I was a little bit taken off guard, because we always have hot, steamy, anything goes sex. However, I just don't understand what it could be if he does not love me but it's more than sex? Suggestions are welcome.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): I believe he did what he had to do to convince you it was more than sex and it only took him 24 hours. Now he can get what he wants, sex, for another year or so without hassle until you bring it up again...rinse and repeat.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 I agree with the other answerer. It sounds like he is going through a very emotional time right now and is a little overwhelmed with "life". You've been a source of comfort and compassion for him and he doesn't want to mess it up or invest more emotions by saying those magic words.
I think right now, he isn't going anywhere and he wants to be with you. Leave it at that until things in his life get back to a more "normal" mode.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): A lot of people are hesitant to say the L word. And some take time to fall for someone. From the sounds of it, he was telling you that he does have feelings for you as more than friends. The fact he stopped you during sex could mean exactly what he said - he does have those feelings. So, he's not 'in love' yet, doesn't mean there aren't feelings there that could develop into more.
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