A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. So I have recently entered my first relationship with a guy who's going through this his first time too. He is very adorable, funny, nice..and very shy and awkward. Personally I have no problem with his being shy---prolly just because I understand where he's coming from, and that I actually think it's a bit cute. However, he's made the confession---and I've also heard from his best friend--- that he has a very difficult time initiating things. He never calls me, or anyone really (which is actually coincidentally fortunate for me because I also dislike talking on the phone), and has said that he prefers texting , but doesn't like INITIATING the text. This is the first problem, since I also have a hard time initiating texts--but nonetheless I've been initiating most of them, as well as everything else it seems like. It feels like I always hafta ask him if he wants to do something (as in hanging out),otherwise he doesn't suggest anything. I have to ask at the end of a date if he had a good time, because he won't show any sorta feedback...Phsically, too. We've been going out for a few months, and haven't even really held hands or anything, without me initiating it. I dunno, guess I'm just a bit frustrated is all..I really like him, so i'm not asking if I should end it or anything---not at all. His best friends, whom I'm very good friends with, too, said that he likes me a lot, but that he's just not used to showing it. He's never even said directly to me that he likes me! How can I get him to be a bit more relaxed about initiating things? Does it sound like this relationship could have bad communication problems---or should I just give it more time? If it were to continue the way it is, a relationship in which he might grow comfortable expressing himself physically, but never verbally---is there such a thing as "verbal neglect" that I could potentially suffer from??Please give me some opinions!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Lots of patience, lots of love, lots of understanding; he will get more confident and then I am sure things will be different.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (29 June 2008):
 It wouldnt be a huge issue if at least one of you were the "out going" type, but because you both seem too shy, it is kind of hard to get things rolling. At this stage in your relationship, you guys are excited, nervous, and pleasantly uncomfertable with eachother. As time goes by and have fewer discomferts with eachother, you guys will open up more and more. I kind of like the shy type, because it tells me he isnt a player, not a heart breaker, and a genuine kind of guy. At the same time, if he is still shy after some time dating me (because I am super out going) there is something wrong. If you want him to open up, you have to too, and you will see him feel more comfertable with initiating conversations, events, ect. Maybe he fears saying, asking, or acting the wrong way, and he wants to learn more about you before he opens up to you. Give him a chance. He sounds very in to you, and if he is too shy, help him to feel comfertable. Good luck.
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