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female
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anonymous
writes: Im just wondering how to get my boyfriend to initiate sex, when we met it was sweet that no pressure was put on me and it was always up to me when we had sex and Im worried that maybe he's no longer interested as recently Iv not initiated to let him start things and nothing happened. He's under extra stress at work at the moment so we really only have sex at the weekends (we live apart,usually see each other once during the week and fri and sat) Im not sure if he's just bored, when I do initiate things he's usually already hard before my hand gets that far, do men get erections even when not turned on or is he really turned on?? I dont know how to bring this up with him without insulting him but dont want to let it continue and turn into a larger problem.So,is he still interested?and how can I put the ball in his court?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Muscles +, writes (12 May 2006):
Hi well the only thing I can really think of is that he doesn't enjoy sex, not that he doesn't enjoy sex 'with you' but just generally does not enjoy sex. Some people are like that even males are not quite that intimate!
Stress and tiredness could be a contributor as he works. But what do you do on the weekends ? Do you go out to the pub? for a meal? to the gym? cinemas? anything together....I have found that sitting in a room for longer than 6-8 hours per day with my girlfriend can get quite boring and that you need to get out and do things. Maybe he wants to go out more with you and maybe he will feel like sex whe you return home etc? You need to have an even balance allthough im not saying you don't already but if you don't you need too... Also if you do this and nothing changes, ask him what he really thinks of 'sex' itself and say 'it doesn't matter if you don't like it etc...and another good question would be to ask if he 'imagines sex with anyone else?' but that might be a bit suspicious and show insecurity...
Not sure if I have been of any help...
Good luck
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