A
female
age
36-40,
*beautifullm1nd
writes:I went to a wedding with my boyfriend, afterwards we headed to a motel to have sex for the first time, so he starts kissing me and removing my clothes, I was so ready! But I guess he wasn't because he wasn't erect! I asked him what was wrong, and he just kept saying "I don't know", so we kept trying he couldn't even get inside! It was hopeless and so I told him it was ok it happens, and he just appologized, I thaught it was bks of the alcohol he drank earlier @ the wedding, and I called my bst friend for advise, the same thing happened to her and her bf she said it was "first time jitters" she said guys get that way wen they really like some1 that I shouldn't worry he'd get better the 2nd time around, so I let it go! He called me this morning I went to his house..as soon as I walked in he wanted to have sex he removed my clothes again right @ the front door!, and carried me to his room, I was like ok this is it! And it happened again, and I wonder if I just don't turn him on, or is it a medical reason he can't get erect! I'm worried it won't work out I really like him, but he can't please me, and I can't help but think that I can't make him erect! Can someone help? Thanx.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Hi,
I have to say dont panic this does happen to many men mine included! it is very unlikly that the 'problem' is anything to do with you, quite often its the worry of not performing very well etc.
I find that if you help him to relax completely dont put any pressure on him he needs to clear his mind and forget all the other times that it has gone wrong.
Start with touching your naked bodies together and gently kiss each others body, The first time that you try this don't follow up with sex even if its standing to attention! This does take time but you will find that soon it will no longer go down,
(i know that it is easier said than done but it does work, don't be too hard on him or yourself cause the more you focus on the problem the worse it will be) And remember just RELAX it will happen in the end!!
All the best
Lu x
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