A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i helped my boyfriend set up an online account for profile page where messages can be sent. i was on a business trip before and he ended up cheating on my a little over a year ago (not related to the site). i'm again on a trip and i just happened to go into his account where i saw that he has been trying to start something up with a woman he knows from college. she is married and has said that she loves her husband etc. and that maybe if they both weren't with people things would be different. how do i go about this? i want to work things out with him and i think he just needs female attention. i don't know what to do? how do i go about getting him to see the light? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (4 June 2006):
I understand you may love this man but I think you're being too nice about this, and very naive. No one knows the reason men, or anyone cheats, but whatever that reason is, it's inexcusable. No one with respect and love for their partner could do that to them, whatever problems they had.
I think you need to get rid of this guy. He is taking advantage of you and, as nice as you sound, you seem to be the perfect target for a man like that. You need to get some of your self esteem and confidence back; I'm sure you're a pretty, intelligent, loving person, who deserves more than to be cheated on. You need to stop making excuses for him and move on to someone who loves and respects you enough to be faithful. It's not even as if he got drunk and made a mistake, this was a systematic and planned breach of your trust. Please get out of this now, people like that never change. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006): I have experienced this problem with an ex of mine. Over our 3yr relationship he cheated on me on numerous occasions. He lied about it constantly and told me they were friends from work, the pub etc.It got so bad at one time one of his girls even started texting me! I really loved him at the time and thought he was the love of my life, and like yourself I excused his behaviour.I tried putting it all aside and he asked me to try and build my trust in him, that he wouldn't do it again and that I was the only girl in his life. Sadly three months after that I found text messages on his phone from another of his conquests and I hit the roof. I only wish now in hindsight that i had ended it the first time, but he made me doubt myself.I would have saved myself so much heartache. Leave this man, you need someone who can show you the respect, love and commitment that you deserve.He will never see things your way.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006): You have a man who cheated on you once, and you know he will cheat on you, again. In fact, his dalliance with this married woman is likely a preclude to cheating on you, yet once again. You excuse his behaviours by stating he likes female attention? As long as you make excuses for him, you will stay in this relationship. The excuses allow you to blame anything, anyone.. other than him. As long as you make excuses for him, he will always have woman he can cheat on. This a big issue in your relationship and no problem is ever solved by ignoring it or excusing it away. It's time for you to seriously assess your relationship and decide if you can live with a 'cheater'. I am sorry to say this but you love and care for your bf, but the truth is, he isn't doing the same for you. If he cheats..then he lies. Why do you feel a man like this is good for you. To be stepping out on you is telling me he does not feel about your relationship the way you do. I would seriously rethink this relationship.
I hope you do the right thing..for yourself!
...............................
|