A
female
age
30-35,
*illyL
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years in a very happy relationship.He recently went travelling for 9 months and cheated on me twice once whilst drunk and the other time sober with a girl he had met up with a few times.I only found out after he returned home and i had suspicions and questioned him about it. He denied it hundreds of times and finally admitted it after i said i'd walk out. Hes been very apologetic and trying hard to make things work.we had a short break but now seem to be seeing each other again.Im so confused though as to why he cheated ( even though ive asked and got a short and brief response) and why he didnt tell me for almost a year. help
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (14 January 2012):
 You'll most likely never find out the real reason he cheated. Guys get bored in a relationship, act upon impulse, need sex at the moment, etc. There's numerous reasons.
He didn't tell you because it's much easier to lie about it! Honestly, he thought he could get away with it since it was while he was traveling. But you got suspicious then he probably cracked under pressure and confessed.
I mean seriously if you went out traveling for a bit, cheated on your boyfriend, then when asked how your trip was, "Oh I cheated on you...twice". That's not the first thing you're going to casually mention, if it all.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2012):
 It was wrong of him to cheat on you off course it was, it was even worse that he lied about it to you, as to why people cheat well nobody has the answer to that, but it is horrible that this has happened to you and I am sorry. However if you are willing to get back with him then you need to let it go and learn to trust him again or else you both have no future. Explain to him how you feel and tell him he will need to work hard to earn your trust back if he wants to make things work again, just take it slow.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): The crude but truthful answer about why he cheated was because he was horny and lusting after other girls and thought you'd never find out. He's young and not very committed to your relationship or else he would never have left for nine months to travel.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (14 January 2012):
 He didnt tell you because he wanted to try and get away with it so that when he came home he could carry on as if nothing happened instead of having to face up to it and maybe end the relationship.Why he did is, well only he knows that, but as someone who has been travelling, I am NOT defending him as I am very against cheating, but when you are away in different country it can seem like a whole new world seperate from the one at home and i know many people that do silly things and get caught up in the "experience" only to regret them as soon as they get home or sooner.If you are willing to except this and move on is up to you, but he should atleast explain his actions to you properly before you do this and remember if you do descide to forgive him you need to move on, no holding it against him or bringing it up when your mad, as tempting as i know that can be.
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