A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex 4 months ago after he cheated on me.Unfortunately we live together in university halls at the moment so it's taken me absolutely ages to get over him considering we were only together for 3 months. I forgave him at the time and tried to be friends with him immediately because i thought it would cause the least tension whilst we still live together... in hindsight i caused myself a lot of extra pain trying to be his friend while i still loved him.When i say i've 'gotten over him' i mean i've got to a point where i now have my own independant life pursuing things that interest me and meeting loads of new people. However, despite being busy and having lots of new friends and interests i still feel attached to him. I still see him everyday in the flat and i suppose we still flirt with each other. What's killing me is that i don't know if he still has feelings for me because i know that i still do for him even after everything he's put me through (bragging about girls interested in him, going out getting drunk and being abusive, admitting he's jealous of my new life)I just feel really confused. We've only got another month living together and then i'm going to America for the summer... I know deep down he's wrong for me but i still fancy him like mad and miss him a hell of a lot when i remember the good times. I guess if i'm honest i'm also jealous of the girls he hangs out with and feel sick whenever i think he's brought someone back to our flat.I guess i just wanted some general advice from anyone who's been there or who's got any ideas on how to forget about him or even whether i should tell him how i feel???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): i think i'm in the same situation as you...
it's not as bad- maybe- we don't live together, but i also still love him! i dream of him and think of him often, altough he cheated on me with my sisters best friend!!!(who is also a good friend of mine!!
he tought we were having sort of a open-relationship
so, i tought i can forget him, but don't try it....
it took me more than 1 year to realise, that it's not worth it anyway...
i simply couldn't forget him..
he always said, he was sorry and so, i tried it another time....
and hey, he sort of worships me, he often comes to me with a red rose, or takes me to a romantic place.. jut the two of us..
so, if you really want to risk it, that you get over him (which is really hard)
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 May 2007):
 You have to keep this in perspective. You are leaving soon for America and that will bring new distractions from your heart ache. It is never easy to get over someone when they are on your doorstep but when you come back to Uni. next year you should find alternative accommodation far away from him. The guy sounds like an ego-maniac and he is only interested in your new life in so far as it takes you away from putting him in the spotlight. You admit he didn't treat you very well and you should remember that - it is about respecting yourself enough to walk away from a bad situation, however 'fun' at the time, and thinking you deserve better treatment from men (...expect and you shall receive). Being a doormat and coming running everyone he flutters his eyelashes is the road to disaster. So you should stand tall, see him for the attention seeker he is and look forward to escaping halls this summer.
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