A
female
age
30-35,
*aralynn137
writes:My boyfriend, who is fifteen, just broke up with me a few days ago, right before our year anniversary. He said that I was too emotional and needy, which I probably was, having gone through an extremely tough year. However, the break up came somewhat out of nowhere. He wanted to remain friends, assuring me that underneath everything we had a good solid friendship. I agreed.But he began being inconsistent. One day he still had feelings for me, the next, he didn't. He began stringing me along. Well, I got upset and told him he was being unfair, he said he wasn't ready to talk about the break up yet. He asked me why I was so upset and I told him about an unrelated incident that had happened earlier that day that was making me upset (I had made a rather stupid choice and done something irresponsible). He blew up at me. He told me to go away and talk to someone else, that he couldn't help me, that he couldn't deal with it (even though he had ASKED me what was wrong and I hadn't even insinuated that I was asking him for help). He behaved so meanly that I decided we could not be friends, as it was obvious that he was very hostile and angry and did not care at all about how I felt.All this behavior is very out of character for him. He has, as long as I've known him, been a guy with integrity. Have I made the right decision by getting him out of my life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Ok, let me be more clear. You did not make a mistake cutting him out of your life. If you feel pain to have to talk to him then you need to take care of yourself and stop all contact with him. I don't see any where in my post that indicates that just because you are young you don't have feelings for him and it wasn't real, I did not say that. What I am saying is you do have choices. You can choose to pine over this one boy when you are at time in your life where there are so many fun people to meet and spend time with, or you can choose to get out there and enjoy all the opportunities you have in front of you....because you are really only young once, you are a teenager and this is supposed to be a time without huge responsibilities and is often better spent outside of serious romantic relationships....you have plenty of time for that in the future....you can choose what you want to do here....and of course you have pain and are feeling down, but like I said it sounds like he is not being friendly or nice and you don't deserve that, you don't need it either so tell him to stay away and you do the same.
A
female
reader, maralynn137 +, writes (24 May 2009):
maralynn137 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust because I'm young doesn't mean the emotions weren't there. I am hurt, I can't just go out and get a new boyfriend, it's unhealthy and not right. I want to know if I made the right decision by cutting a good friend of mine out of my life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): It sounds like it....He may have thought he could be friends, but he feels badly too and wants to feel better, seeing you and talking to you and trying to help you is all just too much right now....break ups are hard.
In my opinion you are better off without him. My gosh, you are 15, go out and have some fun with your friends and find three new boyfriends, not one....(I hope you sren't sleeping around, that is not what I mean) You are only young once and you will go through more break ups in your life on the path to real and lasting love, trust me it happens to all of us. It doesn't make then any less painful or hard, and sometimes the emotions are just too raw right after and you need to both respect each other and stay away for awhile if not for good.
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