He broke up with me when I needed him the most!

A female age 36-40, *herry5599 writes:

Hi Everyone. So I am new to this, and am already seeing a psychologist but am finding the one hour sessions not enough and would love some extra support from an objective viewpoint as opposed to friends am family. So my boyfriend of 18 months broke up with me a week ago but it has been a long sage leading up to the actual break. We recently got back from a five week holiday overseas, and hardly fought on the trip, in fact we were rather mild towards each other, but still got along really well. Before I lieft my Aunty had been diagnosed with cancer, and when I got back her condition had deteriorated severely. I found out she only had a few weeks to live and was very upset by the news. My Aunty had previously been my Mum's support network for their 99 year old mother. I was not coping with the news very well and my boyfriend did not give me any support or seem to really understand what I was going through. This caused me to explode and we had several huge fights over it. We have always had big blowups, mostly due to his lack of emotional support when I needed it. My aunty ended up passing away, and he still failed to give m much support which led to me going over to his house when he told me not to. He asked for no contact for a week, but of course I was shocked by this as I was going through a huge amount of grief and didn't really know what to say. I tried to give him the week off but my grandmother passed away a week later and i so desperately wanted him to comfort me. I went nuts at him as the day she passed away he wouldn't come over, and then two days later he tried to end it. This was someone I had just been on a five week holiday with and had been in love with for 18 months and I was finding it very difficult to understand how he could do this. He had also refused to come to her funeral when I asked and said it would be weird. The next week he also asked for off but agreed to come to her funeral. The night before he came over and we went to the movies and I was relieved as things seemed to be ok. After the funeral we went out and got into a huge fight as he wanted me to go to the strippers as one of his mates was in there. I got very upset and got angry, and then he insulted me in front of his friends saying I was going to ruin the night. I was a bit drunk by this stage and saw he attack on me as very insulting so went into the club. We had a huge fight and the next day he asked for another week off, telling me that my anger issues were the reason he wanted to break up with me. The next Thursday he broke up with me via text message. The day after we spent 6 hours cuddling and he told me he loved me, at this stage I was so distraught I begged him to stay but he said no he had to do this to be happy. I am so hurt because instead of focusing on the loss of my Aunty and Gran I focused on trying to save our relationship and am so embarrassed I begged. I really miss him now and he told me if I contact him again he will block my number. I am so lost with how someone I've known and loved for 18 months could completely neglect me when this happened to my family, and then insist the break up was due to my anger. We always fought but it stemmed from my insecurities with how he felt, which got worse when everything happened with my family. Our fights were often quite intense and we would yell very loudly and he would often punch my door/throw things around. He never physically touched me but i lashed out at him twice and scratched him. I have never had these sorts of reactions with other people, and it is very out of character for me. I am normally quite a social and happy person and I have lots of good friends. He told me he is unhappy and wants to be alone but I am still so shocked that he could have left me in the dark and asked for no contact during this horrible time. I really miss my best friend and want him to care but don't know what to do. I also really can't understand how he could do this to me? Please help me to understand or tell me what to do. He keeps telling me he is confused and loves me, but knows he wants to be alone because he hates his life as he depends on me and his mum. :(

View related questions: best friend, broke up, drunk, grandmother, stripper, text

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A female reader, cherry5599  +, writes (4 April 2011):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011):

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